Teddy Burriss

Are you Listening to me

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  • Halloween 2011 – easy

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    This year Bum & I were not at home in time for Halloween activities. Usually not a big deal since there is only one family in our neighborhood with kids and they have been going somewhere else to do the trick or treating activities for the past few years.

    We did get to see the grands from K-Ville via Cell Phone Camera – thanks J&O. Looks like the kids were ready to grab ’em, bag ’em and run!

    The Advance family came by to say hello. Fortunately we had two small bags of gummy bears for them. When I handed Bayden his bag of candy, he turned to Bum and said “Can you get scissors?”

    Happy Halloween everyone

  • True or False

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    His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools
    and ran to the bog.

    There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

    The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

    ‘I want to repay you,’ said the nobleman. ‘You saved my son’s life.’

    ‘No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,’ the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel.

    ‘Is that your son?’ the nobleman asked.

    ‘Yes,’ the farmer replied proudly.

    ‘I’ll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of…’ And that he did.

    Farmer Fleming’s son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin.

    Years afterward, the same nobleman’s son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia.

    What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

    The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill .. His son’s name?

    Sir Winston Churchill.

    Someone once said: What goes around comes around.

    Even if it’s untrue, it’s a good sounding story.

    Check Snopes – http://www.snopes.com/glurge/fleming.asp

  • The Bar of Soap

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    After being created, boxed, wrapped and put into a case with dozens of similar bars of soap, off to a grocery store it goes.

    Sitting sometimes for days, or weeks, on a long, cold, metal shelf with other bars of soap, many similar, many others very different. Knowing that one day it will get picked up by housewife who wants it.

    Tossed into a shopping cart with all the other groceries. Squeezed between a big hunk of beef and a box of tampons, rattling along the aisles as the shopper seeks more items to toss into the cart, often on top of the bar of soap.

    Slid across the scanner and into paper or plastic it goes, back into the cart amongst other bags of groceries.

    It’s dark in the bag as the bar of soap heads off to yet another unknown destination. The box of tampons and a tube of toothpaste bouncing all over the bar of soap.

    The feeling of weightlessness is somewhat unsettling as the bags are picked up, carried into the house and dropped on the countertop. Then someone grabs the bar of soap and carries it off.

    Next it is being tossed under the bathroom sink with lots of unusual items. It’s the first time the bar of soap has ever been with a hair dryer, electric razor, hair spray, toilet paper or Old Spice deodorant.

    Again, for days or weeks on end the bar of soap sits, being ignored or worse yet brushed away as a hand reaches in to get another item. Dark and quiet, except what likely is early morning or late evening as the bathroom is being used by someone. The rest of the time, not a sound as if no one is home.

    Then the day arrives. The bar of soap is plucked from the cabinet, its wrapper and box torn off and tossed into a trashcan. Whoever this person is, they are completely naked as they sniff the bar of soap, say “Ahhh,” as they walk off to the shower, bar of soap in hand.

    Now, the routine is quite different each morning.

    Someone turns on the shower. They step in, grab the bar of soap and attack it with a wash cloth.

    Each day the bar of soap looses some of itself from the assault of the washcloth. Each day a little more of the bar of soap goes down the drain, never to be recovered.

    Eventually the bar of soap has been depleted so much that there is little to none left.

    If the frail, thin, nearly depleted bar of soap is lucky, it will be united with a brand new, fresh bar of soap. It will ride the back of the new bar of soap, until its last moment.

    Or, if the bar of soap is less fortunate, it may end up in a pile with other depleted bars of soap. Sitting in a soap dish as someone uses them up completely at the bathroom sink.

    Worse than either of these possible fates, it is not unlikely that when the bar of soap reaches its end, it will be simply tossed into the trash.

    The bar of soap knows it’s fate. The day it is created, boxed and wrapped, it knows that its life is short lived and it will never be remembered afterwards. Another bar of soap will take its place with no celebration.

  • Doggone it

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    I hear this word often.

    “Doggone computer is screwed up”
    “Doggone car won’t start”
    “You are a pain in my doggone *&^%”

    So I “Binged it and got an idea where it came from:

    According to an Answers.yahoo.com posting, which seems valid –

    “Doggone it” is a minced oath, expressing annoyance. Like other minced oaths, it probably came from “damned” > durned > darned > goll-durn-it > goldarn it > dadgum it = God damn it.

    Or another answers.yahoo page said

    “I believe it is a more polite way of saying “gosh darnit”, which is a nicer way of saying “god darnit”, which is a more polite way of saying…”

    Or

    from http://onlinedictionary.datasegment.com/word/doggone

    doggone dog”gone, doggoned dog”goned, a. [Euphemism from
    God-damned.]
    Damned; confounded; — used as an expression of displeasure;
    as, I wish those doggone telemarketers would quit calling at
    suppertime. [Informal]
    [PJC] doggone

    doggone dog”gone, doggoned dog”goned, adv.
    Damned; darned; — used as an informal intensifier; as, he’s
    a doggoned good golfer. [Informal]
    [PJC]

    doggone dog”gone, v. t. [Euphemism for God-damn.]
    Damn; — used to express displeasure or annoyance; as,
    doggone it!. [Informal]

    Doggone internet is Smart!

  • My First Converge South Event

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    I spent yesterday (10/6/2011) and today at Converge South.

    ConvergeSouth is the annual Web/Social Media/Mobile App conference held in Greensboro, NC. This year it was held at North Carolina A&T University. The conference is organized completely by volunteers and this year is it’s 7th year. Originally based on the “blogger-con” concept, ConvergeSouth has grown as technology has developed and has tried to meet new needs of it’s community via Social Networking, Social Media, App Development and more without ignoring new users’ needs – that’s why there will always be a “101″ or Beginners Track at ConvergeSouth.

    This year’s agenda was packed full with lots of good information. Here is the Agenda.

    I got to hear presentations from lots of well informed and experienced people including:

    Mark Schaefer, Executive Director of Schaefer Marketing Solutions and world renown blogger @ {grow}.

    Duane Forrester, Senior Product Manager at Bing, SEO guru and author.

    Tom Webster, Vice President, Strategy, for Edison Research, most widely-known as the sole provider of U.S. Election exit polling data to all major media outlets.

    I enjoyed and learned from the presentations delivered by numerous local specialists including:

    Hey – It’s a Social Media event – Here are the good people’s twitter handles.

    @_DavidHorne_
    @1918
    @brandonburke
    @EFadiman
    @iamjohnford
    @JeffSanGeorge
    @KateMorris
    @kevinbriody
    @KristenDaukas
    @laurenpolinsky
    @marktzk
    @rickamme
    @SuePolinsky

    and many others whose name’s & twitter handles escape me

    Beyond the great conversations by the presenters, I also benefited from the informal and enjoyable conversations with dozens of participants in the hallways, restaurants and even bars.

    I am now following a new group of tweeps who I hope to continue learning from and I added a bunch of new followers to my own twitter stream.

    The cost to me for this event was a whopping $75 plus travel (only 60 miles from my home in Davie County). The education I received and the people I got to know during this day and a half event is well worth this small cost.

    The entire event was put together by a volunteer committee, the logistics, scheduling and materials put together by volunteers. Thank you very much to everyone who helped make this event both enjoyable and a success for myself and my fellow attendees.

    I look forward to attending next years event.

  • Lots of women

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    Today (Oct 5, 2011) is the birthday of a friend of mine’s twin daughters.

    For many years our two families were growing at about the same pace.

    Here is a quick story of how evenly paced we grew our families.

    My first daughter was born in early 1982.

    His first daughter was born a few years later.

    My wife had our next daughter around 1984.

    His wife delivered another daughter within a year or so.

    My wife and I had another daughter in around 1986.

    My friend and his wife has another daughter soon thereafter.

    Another daughter was born to my wife and I in 1988, bringing our daughter count to 4.

    Within about 5 years twin daughters were born to my friend and his wife, bringing their daughter count to 5.

    I cried uncle and threw in the towel. I actually went to see the man doctor at that time.

    Happy birthday to Meggy & Mary the twins. Congrats to Francis & Mary for raising 5 beautiful women.

  • Always cool to my first touches

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    At first, it is always cool to my touch. I know this each time I walk up to it.

    Regardless of where I touch it, it will always be cool to my first touches. I used to wonder if it is cool to another’s touch. I believe that it could be, but I know that no one else touches it as I do. This is forbidden.

    It’s frame is cold to touch, yet a little caressing can warm it in the areas that it lets me lay my hands on. It’s sides are the coldest at first. I slide my hands up and down it’s sides and with each stroke it begins to warm.

    The back feels as if it is frozen, and each morning I know to expect extreme coldness. I spread my hand wide and gently rub it’s back with soft, smooth strokes in a circular motion. I know this is appreciated because in just a few motions I can feel the warmth surfacing on it’s back. I am pleased to know my touch has this affect.

    I lay my finger tips on it’s body and the coolness is abrupt. Yet with each touch of my finger tips it warms slowly. I have learned that the faster I move my fingers over it’s body and more areas I touch, the warmer it gets in the least amount of time. As my rapidly moving finger tips caress, it begins to respond quickly and eloquently. This makes me happy.

    When I lay the back of my fingers gently across it’s face, I can recoil from the chilliness. Fortunately, like the rest of it’s body, the more I touch it’s face with soft gentle strokes, the chilliness diminishes and the warmth envelopes it’s face. The glow is welcoming.

    In time the entire body is warm and the relationship is good.

    By this time, no longer am I focused on it’s temperature. I am only interested in completing my task at hand. Finish a blog post, the Facebook post, LinkedIn update or review of my calendar.

    Once the chilliness diminishes completely, I am usually done and ready to put the MacBook Pro down and go back to my hot bold Venti Bean. I will return to the laptop soon knowing that if I left it running, it will still be warm and inviting for the next task to be completed.

    Author’s note. – I did not refer to the Macbook Pro as she, only because there is a story to be shared later about my first motorcycle that I referred to as she and the harassment I received from my family was severe.

  • Here is your Son Sir

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    April3, 1988, just 23 years ago as I sit here recalling what happened that nigh, seems like so long ago. Yet what happened on that day is as clear to me today as it was back then.

    The story actually started nearly 9 months prior to this date, otherwise we would not have been in a hospital as my wife was preparing to birth our youngest daughter. I could tell you all about that, but because my daughters hate hearing X-Rated stories of their parents, and because the activities of that day are not so germain to the story at hand, I’ll refrain from sharing that story (for now).

    Back to the hospital the evening of April 3, 1988.

    The staff at Shady Grove Adventist Hospital were all being very attentive to my wife as she entered the last phase of birthing (I love saying that).

    The nurses were managing the broad spectrum of cables and hoses that connected her to the health monitoring and saline dispensing systems. They frequently squeezed her hand and asked with a soothing and caring voice, “Are you OK dear? Not much longer now. Hang in there. If you are in pain we can get you some drugs. Just let us know”

    My wife was standing firm. No drugs. I always imagined my wife saying to herself, “I did not have any drugs when I conceived her, I’m not having drugs while birthing.” (Again, I love using that word.)

    Yet, the anesthesiologist stood by waiting, surely hoping that she would scream out for “MORPHINE DRIP STAT!” But it never happened.

    As the team prepared my wife for what became her quickest birthing, the Doctor was no where to be found. The nurses told us that he was running late because he had to attend a public function downtown. I heard one of the nurses assure my wife, “no worries dear, he’ll be here in time.” I thought I heard another nurse say something about wine, not sure though.

    As if on clue, the Doctor walked into the room merely moments before our youngest daughter birthed. (he he he). Fully garbed and sterilized, beanie on his head, shatter proof safety glasses on his face and blue rubber gloves on his hands, he took his position directly in front of the birthing canal literally seconds before the birthing moment.

    As the nurses joined me encouraging my wife to breath, push, don’t push, breath, relax, stop yelling at me, breath, don’t blame me, push, push, push harder, the doctor stood firmly with his hands and arms in perfect baby catching position.

    Total birthing activity took less than it takes to heat up a grande burrito and Bing, Bam, Boom – Baby is Birthed!

    As the Doctor grabbed the baby from the birthing canal he cheerfully announced to my wife and I, “Congratulations Mr & Mrs. Burriss, here’s your Son,,, I mean Daughter.”

    I will never forget that 5 seconds in time. Of course, I did write another version of this story a few years ago – you may find that version interesting as well. Check out Happy Birthday Lauren.

    After that experience, I have always thought to myself, wine. His vision was impaired by the wine. I’m sure that’s not the case. I’m sure the umbilical cord created an optical illusion for a few seconds. But, because we never asked him and he never offered an explanation, I’m going with, the wine.

  • Ignore Function in Facebook

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    The following question has been raised with regards to Facebook

    Is there an Away Message function in Facebook?

    No, there is no Away Message function in FaceBook.

    There is however an often overlooked Ignore Feature.

    This feature is both hard to find and very difficult to use.

    When used properly, this feature can be very rewarding. Many users, who have properly used it have found it increases office productivity, improves relationships, expands knowledge from books and even creates a sense of calmness and reduced drama.

    5% of Facebook users have successfully used the Ignore Feature of Facebook by simply turning their focus to something else. These users have found great rewards because of this feature.

    Another 5% of Facebook users have found that in order to use this feature, all they need to do is to turn their back on the computer display or smartphone. Some of these users have had to leave the room where the equipment is located, but they have successfully used the Ignore Feature and benefitted in numerous ways.

    Another 15% of Facebook users have determined that they must leave the facility and the electronic equipment within in order for the Ignore Feature to work properly. Some of these users have had to leave the town in which the facility is located for the Ignore Feature to work, but they have successfully used the feature. Unfortunately they have found that the Ignore Feature only works for a few minutes and therefore gotten little to no value from the feature.

    The last 75% of Facebook users have attempted the previous usage options and found that both options completely failed for them. Even if this feature were to work, these users do not believe it would offer any value to them at all.

    Even if they were to test the Ignore Feature of Facebook these users would have to shut down the Internet by disabling the wired & wireless networks, cell phone towers and/or telephone dial-tone into the states where they reside in order to properly use the Ignore Feature of Facebook. Since we all know the Internet can’t be shut down, these users have decided that the Ignore Feature of Facebook will never work or provide any value to anyone.

    Because the Ignore Featureof Facebook is being used by less than 25% of the Facebook users, Facebook has decided to disable the feature and remove all mention of it from the user guides effectively immediately.

  • I saw you, but you did not see me

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    I saw you hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line. But you didn’t see me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday.

    I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk. But you didn’t see me playing Santa at the local mall.

    I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant. But you didn’t see me, attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief.

    I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I drove by. But you didn’t see me, driving behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window.

    I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children. But you didn’t see me when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless.

    I saw you stare at my long hair. But you didn’t see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love.

    I saw you roll your eyes at our leather coats and gloves. But you didn’t see me and my brothers donate our old coats and gloves to those that had none.

    I saw you look in fright at my tattoos. But you didn’t see me cry as my children where born and have their name written over and in my heart.
    I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere. But you didn’t see me going home to be with my family.

    I saw you complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be. But you didn’t see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane.
    I saw you yelling at your kids in the car. But you didn’t see me pat my child’s hands, knowing he was safe behind me.

    I saw you reading the map as you drove down the road. But you didn’t see me squeeze my wife’s leg when she told me to take the next turn.

    I saw you race down the road in the rain. But you didn’t see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date.

    I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time. But, you didn’t see me trying to turn right.

    I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in. But you didn’t see me leave the road.

    I saw you waiting impatiently for my friends to pass. But you didn’t see me. I wasn’t there.

    I saw you go home to your family. But you didn’t see me. Because I died that day you cut me off.

    I was just a guy on a motorcycle. A person with friends and family, just like you. But, you didn’t see me.

    I read this on Facebook in Sept 2011 and felt the urge to share it with everyone / TLB

  • How are you doing today?

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    I asked a friend this morning how she was doing.

    She replied, “I am unbelievably fantastic”, with an attitude in her voice that told me she was being honest about how she wants the day to go.

    Of course, I jokingly responded with, “Good to see you put drugs in your oatmeal this morning.”

    But honestly a part of me wondered, am I rubbing off on others? Or was she just saying what I say every day, before I got the chance to say it.

    Either way – I am glad she is doing unbelievably fantastic.

    We all need to be, despite the stuff.

  • WSSU LLS Class Presentation

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    I gave a presentation about Desire, Attitude & Passion to Nigel Alston’s Winston-Salem State University Liberal Learning Studies class today. Here are some of the questions they asked afterwards:

    1. How does networking benefit you?
    When I focus on Networking for Mutual Benefit, and help others first, many of the people I connect with will help me with the important thinks I ask for help with.  I meet people who become beneficial to my life goals and I in turn offer value to them in return.

    2. What did your wife think when you quit your job and her reaction to the cross-country trip?
    My wife knew that the transition from a corporate job to a business of our own needed a quiet phase between them.  Even though she was not a fan of long trips, she knew this would be a great trip for us and it was.  We giggle together across the US for 168 hours side by side in the car for a 9000 mile trip that took 30 days.

    3. how long did it take you to find your passion?
    I discovered my passion for public speaking in the early 1990’s when I joined ToastMasters International.  Afterwards, I always knew I loved to talk in public.  Around 2005 I discovered that I liked to write so I started to write blogs.  It took until around 2007, when I started really networking and building new relationships, for me to decide I needed to live my passion as a career.   Networking and building new relationships not only uncovered my real passion, but encouraged me to “take the leap”

    4. What was your favorite place during your trip?
    The drive west from Amarillo Texas into Roswell NM took over 3 hours.  It was dusk and the sunset was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen in my life.  Grand Canyon, Seattle, Santa Fe NM and Palo Duro Canyon were fantastic places.  The sum of the entire trip is by far the best thing about the trip.  Do a trip like this with your best friend, not just family.

    5. What types of struggles (negatives) did you go through to reach your passion?
    Many people think my wife and I had to sacrifice to make the changes we made.  We are blessed and really did not sacrifice anything.  We gave up lots of stuff we no longer needed.  Full hD/DVR Direct TV, weekly dry cleaning, dining out more than we needed, magazines,  newspapers, and lots of stuff that really did not make our life either meaningful or teuly enjoyable. I have the same bills to pay that everyone else has (mortgage on our home, gas, food, insurance, etc), but we trimmed our expenses down to the things we need, while I build my business around my passion for “words”

    6. You say you have a passion for words so do you have a favorite song because of the lyrics?
    I love Bruno Mars “Just the way you are”. Mainly because I pretend that I’m singing it to my wife, but also because to me the lyrics say to be yourself, you are beautiful as you are.

    7. Have you thought about TED Talks?
    Not until now, so stay tuned.  Thanks.

    8. When did you realize that words were your passion?
    In the late 1990’s as a Toastmaster.  Great program – check it out folks.

    9. Would you encourage a person that feels “lost” to take a journey as you did?
    Yes – if you are not sure about your true desires (goals), attitude about life or what your real passion is do 2 things.  1) Talk with lots of people. (LOTS!!) and 2) find rime for ourself such as a cross country tour.  Don’t just go sight seeing, spend time with a loved one and again, meet new & different people.  Discovery happens thru exploring and conversations.

    10. How has your success made you better as a person?
    Fist Pump!  Great question.  I used to pop aspirins like candy.  I used to stress out over the dumbest things.  I used to think I had to work 10-12 hours per day @ work.  Now that I’m doing what I really love doing, time is not relevant, I don’t stress out because I know my stuff like the back of my hand & I take no drugs at all.  Really, I don’t. 

  • Intelligence test

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    As you would expect – I stole this from another guy. It’s all good – it’s been stolen 63,123 times already.

    Here is a test for everyone who thinks they are smarter than all the rest of us.
    It is also a Dementia Quiz, so consider your results in this regard as well.

    FIRST QUESTION: You are a participant in a point-point race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in now?

    If you answered first place – go back and look again – WRONG Answer.

    SECOND QUESTION: If you overtake the Last Person, then you are?

    Think about this again. If you answer next to last – WRONG Answer

    THIRD QUESTION: This is rather tricky and includes the use of numbers and arithmetic. Do this in your head, no paper or we will consider you a cheater and you fail the moment you pick up a pen or pencil. Take 1000, Add 40 to it. Add another 1000, add 30, add another 1000, now add 20, then add another 1000. End by adding 10.

    Think about this again. If you answered 5000 – WRONG Answer.

    Last question – Mary’s Father has five daughters. 1) Nana, 2) Nene, 3) Nini, 4) NONO and #5 – ?

    Think about this again. If you answered NuNu – WRONG Answer.

    Ok – because I don’t want you to go home a failure – here is a bonus question
    A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. He imitates the action of brushing his teeth and successfully expresses himself to the shop keeper and the purchase is done.
    A blind person comes into the same shop and walks up to the same shop keeper. He wants to buy a pair of sunglasses. How does he indicate that he wants sunglasses?

    No sign language involved folks.

    Answers
    1) Second
    2) You can’t overtake the last place person in a point-point race 3) 4100
    4) Mary
    5) he tells the shop keeper

  • Every action has an equal or greater reaction

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    Can you picture this?

    1974 or 1975
    Math, history or english class @ Poolesville high school in rural Poolesville, MD
    Here is roughly what the classroom chairs/desks looked like back then:

    The desks were lined up about 10 deep and at least 4, maybe 5 rows wide. There were at least 35 students in our English class back then.

    To my right sat one of my classmate friends, Tammy. To my left a good friend named Clark. I proved what kind of friendship we had during class one day.

    Being a good student, (really), I always showed up for class moments before everyone else. Even today people tease me saying I still do this, 35+ yrs later, so I can do some serious networking. Yeah, right, no one believes this. Any way, I got there early and started chatting it up with some of the other students.

    Whole talking someone found a tack on the floor. For those of you unsure what I am referring to, it looked like this:

    You may not be able to see that the pointy metal part of this thumb tack is about 1/4″ long. Maybe a tad longer.

    Somebody said, “Man, that would freakin hurt if you sat on it.” The rest of laughed and agreed.

    Then again, someone said, “Hey, Clarks not here yet, put it on his chair.” once again we all laughed and agreed.

    For many reasons I was the one to put it on his chair. A) I was standing right beside his desk, B) I thought it would be as funny, if not funnier than some of the others, C) Yeah, I did not fully understand the science lesson that we (I) was about to experience.

    So, I strategically (or with no real thought), placed the tack, point up, dead center on Clark’s chair. We all snickered, then scurried like the mischievous kids we were, back to our seats to await class, I mean, Clark to show up.

    Now, there was more intelligence in the room than I lead you to believe. To my right Tammy whispered to me repeatedly, “That’s not smart, get the tack, get the tack NOW.” But for some reason I didn’t, or at least pretended not to hear her.

    OK, here is where the science lesson really started.

    Clark came into the room moments before class started and strutted up to his desk with a big smile on his face. You see, Clark was mostly always late for class, and he was beaming with happiness because he beat the Bell. I was actually happy for him myself and if I recall, I may have reached out to Hi-five him.

    Now picture what happened in the next 3.25 seconds.

    Clark slapped his books down on the desktop, slid into position to sit down, dropped onto the chair and KaBoom!

    The immediate reaction was a result of all of Clark’s strength (farm boy) picking himself up off of the chair (I mean tack), raising the entire desk & chair off the floor, nearly above everyone’s head, as he exhaled a scream of vulgarities that totally freaked out everyone in the room.

    Over the years I have thought long and hard at this next question, How did Clark know I did it? To this day, I still wonder.

    As soon as his feet landed back on the floor, Clark lunged at me like a wild man, plowing me, my desk and books down on the floor up against the other row of desks, occupied by fellow classmates. He started waling on me like a crazy man. In a defensive action, I commenced waling back at him. It was total chaos until someone yelled, “here comes the teacher!”

    A few classmates helped to stop us and to separate us. They then helped us to set the desks and chairs back up. This likely only took another 20 or 30 seconds, tops. The whole time I kept wondering when Clark would attack me again. I sort of expected it because after hearing him scream with pain, I felt like I still deserved more waling.

    The class bell rang as Clark was collecting his books and standing next to his chair wondering if he could sit down.

    I got back in my chair and straightened up my clothes and wiped most of the sweat off my face.

    As the teacher walked into the classroom, she noticed Clark still standing next to his desk. “Late again Mr. B., nothing seems to change with you, does it?”

    I heard Clark whimper as he sat down on his injured butt. He looked over at me with piercing eyes as if to say, “your turn next.”. I knew that was more than just a likelihood. Paybacks were hell back then.

    I can’t recall talking about that science experiment ever again. I’m sure I got some payback later on.

    I most definitely learned, quickly and clearly, that “every action has an equal, and sometimes greater reaction.”

    Clark and I remained friends throughout high school and continued our mischeiveous activities even thru graduation.

  • A Member of my family died

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    A member of my family died this past week.

    As teenagers, my 4 daughters brought her into our home back in 1996, within a month or so of moving to North Carolina.

    She had perfect manners, was well behaved and quickly learned the rules of living in our house. I could not ask for a better adopted member of the family.

    They all grew up together and became close friends. The memories of seeing them play together are many and vivid. They played together in the back yard, front yard and in the house. They would curl up together and watch TV, listen to music or read a book. They even cried together over personal pain, family problems and sometimes it seemed even while watching chick flicks.

    When the girls came home from school she was there waiting for them, eager to say hello and to get a hug. Always there to listen to what they had to say about class, the bus ride and the new friends they made. Never questioning why or what.

    As the girls grew up and started bringing boys over to the house, she was there to check them out and give her sign of approval, or not. Generally approval was always given, however I believe that one or two of the boys did my make the cut based on her criteria. She accepted almost all guests to the house as another friend, many as if they were another member of the family.

    As the girls grew up and started leaving for college or to get married and start their own families and homes, you could see in her eyes that she was sad. Yet, she was always happy to see them when they came back to the house to visit. She welcomed them, the son-in-laws and then the grand kids every time she saw them.

    In time the grandkids started curling up with her to watch TV, run thru the yard with her and play with her just like their mothers used to. Never a bad time or cross word between them. She was very clearly happy to be a member of our growing and changing family.

    For a few years we had another house guest stay with us. This was good company for her because they liked to do the same stuff. Without the girls around they played together in the back yard, walked around the neighborhood with us most evenings and curled up together in the family room. They generally ended up sleeping together in their bedroom or in the master bedroom with my wife and I on cold or rainy nights.

    Unfortunately, in time this guest left to go back with her family. Again, she was sad to see yet another friend leave. You could see the sorrow in her eyes, but there was not much we could do. We tried to get them together now and then at either our house or my oldest daughters place. They were so happy to see each other when they could.

    She lived in our house as if it were her’s to protect. Always letting us know if someone was in the yard or driveway. Always paying attention to the neighborhood, including stray animals and late night drivers that we would have missed because we slept thru the simplest of things. She cared the most for my wife’s safety. Protecting her from real, perceived or even the simplest of harm. One day she actually saved my wife from a rampaging daughter who unbeknown to all of us, was just fooling around. Megan lost a good pajama bottom that night.

    She never asked for much. A good meal, a warm bed and hug now and then. She rarely got in the way or caused much fuss. Like most of us, a loud storm scared her and we had to rescue her. Now and then she needed medical attention, especially as she got older, but heck, the rest of us do too.

    Eventually our house got quieter as the house guests stopped coming over as often, the girls all left and the grandkids only came over now and then. She stayed to herself most of the time as my wife and I chased our careers and hobbies which did not include her. Our travels left her alone more and more as she got older. Even though we had really good care givers taking care of her in our absence, we hated this for her and tried to make it up to her when we were around.

    Over the last few months we did a lot of traveling so we let her stay with our oldest daughter and her family. She really enjoyed this because there were lots of people to play with, as well as her favorite house guest that now lived there. She loved to hang out with the kids and just lounge around with them. She seemed the happiest when one of the twins would curl up with her and just hang out.

    But time takes a toll on all of us. And, she was aging, not more than most, but age was taking a toll on her. Slowly her age started to slow her down and even made it hard for her to get around. She lost most of her hearing and started to care less about the activities of the neighborhood. No more alerts about someone driving down the street, the door bell ringing or even that a stray wild animal was in the back yard. There was something peaceful about the way she watched rabbits play in the back yard. Yet, I knew that in her heart she wanted to chase and play with them, but couldn’t.

    A few weeks ago it was very clear to all of us that her days were all but over. Never a tear or complaint from her as she struggled to get around. Even with all the medicine that we were giving her, we knew it was time. As grumpy an old man I may pretend to be, I knew that the task I had to do would be painful for me. I also knew it had to be done. I looked at my wife and daughters, they also knew what I had to do, I saw the sorrow in their eyes and the pain they felt as I made the plans for her final moments.

    I’m a grumpy old man, love being a grumpy old man, but – I’ll miss this old girl.

    Lots of good times having you as a member of our family. By far the best adopted member of our family. The memories we have are plenty and vivid.

    Thanks for being a member of our family Becca.

    Rest girl knowing your spirit will last forever with all of us.

    Thank you for being our friend.

  • Be careful declaring yourself an Expert

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    This story is about a small business owner, her business website and the Expert Support she received to solve a business problem. This website generally gets 5,000 – 10,000 unique visitors a day, so, up time is rather important to this business and it’s owner.

    The following time line is the framework of the experience:

    6:00 am – Business website inaccessible via numerous business partners and the Business Owner – Owner and numerous business partners get a “Site cannot be found” error message from numerous cities, & web browsers – #FAIL
    6:10 am – Owner calls the Hosting Service – they indicate that everything is running on their end. According to Hosting Service, the Site should be accessible and functioning for all business partners.
    6:15 am – Business owners asks Engineer to run some diagnostics to confirm functionality on the outside world (non hosting service provider network)
    6:25 am – Working with the business owner and Hosting Service Engineers everyone agrees the site is available and functioning, except there appears to still be an accessibility issue according to various Business Partners. – #FAIL
    6:36 am – Working with Hosting Service Engineer, business owner attempts to ping site from her location- – #FAIL. Hosting service attempts to ping from another location using a different Internet connection provider – success
    6:40 am – Hosting Service Engineer uses the same Internet service provider as business owner from a different location – #FAIL
    7:10 am – Hosting Service Engineer advises Business owner how to test proxy service thru other Internet Service Providers
    7:30 am – Business owner tests multiple Internet Service Providers (ISP) access to site via Proxy Service – success
    7:45 am – Working with Hosting Service Engineer, business owner confirms that over 27 different ISP can access her Business website – success. However her own ISP who happens to be the same provider of all Business Partners who have site failure notices, can not get to her site – #FAIL
    8:30 am – Hosting Service Provider recommends Business Owner contact her ISP
    8:45 am – Business owner gets ISP Engineer on the phone.
    9:10 am – ISP declares site blocked due to inappropriate content. Business owner informs ISP Engineer that her site is a grocery shopping coupon site. She also tests searching for a typical porn type site and it is both accessible and with inappropriate content, unlike her grocery shopping site (making a point) – #FAIL
    9:30 am – ISP suggests she wait 48 hours and to be sure, send an email to ISP blocking team to request unblock. – #FAIL
    9:45 am – Business owner finds a page on ISP self service site to test for blocking – her site is not blocked according to ISP systems – #FAIL
    10:15 am – Business owner calls ISP and advises the Engineer that the problem is not site blocking. Engineer acts perturbed at continued business owner request for service # FAIL
    10:25 am – ISP tells business owner that despite being the only ISP that does not allow access to her site, for dozens of end user business partners, the problem is with the site and she must call Hosting Provider – #FAIL
    10:30 am – Business owner takes what she considers a logical stance – if dozens of end users on the same ISP are having this problem, let’s get the ISP to help solve the problem and not discount the client’s needs. She demands that the Engineer get another to look at the problem. Engineer is insulted and explains he knows what he is doing, “I am an Expert Ma’am”, he declares. Business owner stands fast to her request by politely offering that sometimes a fresh set of eyes may find an issue that nobody else sees. Engineer is very upset – #FAIL
    10:45 am – ISP Engineer concedes, despite claim of being an Expert and gets his supervisor on the phone.
    10:50 am – Supervisor listens to the details again provided by the business owner (Engineer had low level of notes in the system) – #FAIL
    11:00 am – Supervisor sees a problem that he needs to investigate further. Business owner asks what, Supervisor reluctantly admits Expert Engineer testing was flawed. He had been using a proxy service thru another ISP. They are not able to see her website via the ISP, yet can see it thru a proxy service as business owner had been saying for last 3+ hours – #FAIL #NON-EXPERT
    11:15 am – ISP supervisor says he will escalate and call business owner back in 10 minutes
    11:30 am – Business owner and all Business partners are able to access business site with full functionality
    12:00 pm – ISP has not called back, Business owner assumes resolution of the problem is all she will get – #FAIL

    In conclusion – stuff will happen. Bits & bytes and even people fail to function at different times. It’s best to be careful when you declare yourself an Expert. Even the best Experts need help sometimes.

    Thanks to the folks @ GoDaddy for being Diligent and trying to help
    Thanks to the Supervisor @ Time Warner Cable for coming to the rescue, eventually.
    Good luck to the Time Warner Cable Expert – name to be withheld to protect the poor guy.

  • My first reported Adolescent Crime

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    Adolescent Crimes are hard to deal with.

    Usually our first adolescent crimes are an indication of the type of person we become.

    I started school in 1963 at the not so ripe age of 5 years old. My illustrious educational career started at Monocacy Elementary School in Barnesville Maryland. Even though I can not remember the teachers name, I can picture the kindergarten class room. It was about 15’ wide and maybe 30 feet long. The outside wall was filled with tall aluminum window frames, the type that open inward on horizontal hinges. There were metal venetian blinds on the windows with pull ropes to open and raise the blinds. The windows gave us a view of the bus parking lot and the main road. Not much to see, but at least some sunshine. Below the row of windows were shelves full of books and typical 5 year toys. On the other side of the room was our coat closet. It was about half the length of the room and was not much more than a long hallway with doors at each end and coat hooks and shelves along the back wall. For the most part all I really remember from back then was one particular day in Kindergarten. I was playing with the big wooden blocks that we used to build houses and other wooden structures. One of my class mates, Gary Honemond (sp?) was playing with me. I do not remember exactly what happened, but Gary made me mad about something, and I hit him with a block. Normally this would not have been a big deal, but my mother was standing right there watching me. This was the first time I remember getting into trouble in school. When I got home that night, I got my butt beat like I’ll never forget. I got in trouble lots more in school and I am sure most of the time I got my butt beat for it.

    I am proud of the times when I got in trouble in school and my parents did not find out. I can’t tell you about those times, even now I still fear the paddle. I assure you – this was the first of many Adolescent Crimes. Some reported, some not. Maybe I’ll share some more with you in time. Read some more at www.tlburriss.com if you want to see what else I did as a child Teddy

  • Is she marrying for Sex

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    During my last conversation with my grandfather, from his deathbed, he gave me a wedding gift for one of my daughters.

    I need to update this post, it was a great conversation where at the end my Grandfather asked me, “Lee, is she marrying for sex?”

  • Networking for Mutual Benefit

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    What a great week last week (5/23/2011) was.

    I met 5 new people and shared with them my passion for teaching others to Network for Mutual Benefit.

    Each conversation was a good one because all of these new contacts understood the benefits of networking beyond the traditional purpose of finding a sales opportunity.

    To make matters even better, many of these conversations ended with mutual benefits.

    I love it when I get introduced to someone I can help, and it’s a bonus when they can help me at the same time.

    Networking is the act of finding, developing and nurturing relationships that mutually move people forward thru life.

    Teddy

    Make today a great day and share it with someone.

    Teddy Burriss
    www.linkedin.com/in/TLBurriss
    www.Facebook.com/Tlburriss
    twitter.com/TLBurriss
    twitter.com/NCWiseman

  • Fine Dining in Vail

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    Back around 2000 I went to Vail with 2 other guys for a different skiing, snowmobiling and NFL football trip.. We stayed in Cordillera at another friends very beautiful chalet. We made this trip twice in 3 years. Most of what we did during these trips is encapsulated in the quote, “We enjoyed all that Colorado had to offer.”

    There are a lot of stories from our trips to Vail that I can tell. This one will be about our first fine dining experience in Vail.

    After a day of ski school, we walked around Vail Village for a while and with little to no research we decided to go into a place called “La Tour”. This turned out to be a good and a bad choice.

    We walked into the restaurant and were immediately greeted by the hostess. Fairly quickly we determined that we were very underdressed for this fine dining establishment. There were a lot of couples in their best evening attire and we were dresses in blue jeans and polo shirts. The hostess noticed this as well and she shot us a look that felt as if she was asking,” do you have to eat here.” We told her we wanted a table for three.

    The hostess said, “Follow me”, and then took us on the strangest walk around the restaurant. As we stood in the entry way we could see a table with three chairs, right next us. Yet, the hostess walked us around the restaurant and back up front to the empty table. Clearly she wanted one of two things. To show us that we did not belong, or to show us to the other patrons so they could get a good laugh. We obviously did not belong, and this became more apparent as the experience continued.

    We sat down in very comfortable high back chairs. The table, covered in a sheer table cloth was very well arranged with individual place settings of a crystal water glass, two fancy forks, a spoon and knife around a plate that I thought was far more ornate and fancy to eat off of. Very elaborate place settings. The napkins were made of a very soft yet shiny and elegant material, no paper napkins here.

    Our waitress, dressed better than I dress even for Easter service, walked up to us, offered us the menu on a single sheet of paper and asked us what we wanted to drink. Two of us ordered beers and my other buddy ordered a bottle of wine.

    As she walked away we jokingly commented to each other that it was clear, “We did not belong here.” But we didn’t care.

    We looked over the menu and noticed that besides being a fantastic selection of fine food, there were no prices on the menu. This normally means you don’t want to know, i.e., very expensive. This would eventually become evident to us.

    Our drinks arrived and we commenced to prove to ourselves and everyone else there, that we truly did not belong.

    The service was slow, maybe because of the crowd, maybe because they were trying to ignore us, or possibly because they wanted us to order more drinks, which of course we did.

    Eventually our waitress took our food order. The menu again had lots of good choices for beef, pork, seafood and lots of Italian dishes.

    Before our meals arrived we managed to drink a few beers and the buddy drinking wine killed his first bottle and ordered a second. This would prove to be a bad thing for those sitting around us because with each drink, we got louder and louder.

    Our meals showed up after what seemed like an hour or so. This place was very elegant and the delivery & presentation of our meals clearly showed this.

    Our waitress and two other members of the wait staff came to our table with three individual trays of food. They picked up our meals and in smooth dance like motions presented our meals onto to the table in front of us. Woven baskets with fresh bread, fresh vegetable sides in elegant pewter bowls and our main course (i.e. hunk of meat) placed on a large plate adorned with herbs and relevant condiments of spices and sauce. Definitely one of the finest dining experiences I have ever had, so far.

    The wait staff disappeared almost as quickly and quietly as they showed up. The three of us looked at our beautifully prepared meals and then at ourselves as my one buddy blurted out for all in the restaurant to hear, “We don’t belong here!”

    The three of us busted out laughing and agreed, “Yeah, but we are.” And we laughed even harder and louder.

    The laughter fueled my one buddy to loudly repeat, “We don’t belong here” a few more times during the evening.

    Little did we know that soon we would find out how true that statement was.

    We tried our best to dine like civilized men, but, yeah, that’s not really possible for us. Knives and forks slashed and hacked at our meals as we devoured some very tasty food.

    As we ate, the waitress returned and asked how the meal was and if we wanted more drinks. Yes, more drinks please.

    With more drinks, it seemed to raise our volume even louder and I noticed that the other patrons of the restaurant seemed to be watching us. My one buddy, thru one bottle of wine and working on the second, mostly by himself, was stuck on the phrase, “We don’t belong here!” He repeated this statement often and each time a little louder which resulted in us laughing louder and then for the others in the room to stop eating and stare at us. We were having a blast. Not sure if anyone else was, but we did not care, we were paying to be there. Little did we know how much.

    We finished the main course, a few baskets of bread and at least three beers and two bottle of wine. Good stuff. Our wait staff again swooped in, removed our empty plates and with smooth graceful movements attacked the table cloth with crumb sweepers. When they were done the table looked as fresh and clean as it was when we first sat down. Ok, except for a few wine and beer stains.

    Our waitress came back and asked if we wanted our check. Of course not, we wanted desert and coffee.

    She went back and brought out the desert sample tray and commenced to tell us about our options. We had no idea what the deserts costa, so we ordered three different deserts and coffee.

    When she served us desert, it was equally as grandiose of a delivery and food presentation as the main course had been. Again, when we got done eating, they cleared our place settings and swept up the crumbs with little effort or interference to our chatter, which by now has gotten much louder.

    We downed a couple cups of coffee each before the waitress returned with our check.

    The buddy drinking the wine offered to pay for the evenings dinner knowing that there were at least two other dinner meals that the rest of us would pickup. All good, actually very good for the rest of us.

    For two appetizers, three entree, 12 imported beers, 2 bottles of wine and 3 cups of coffee the bill came to nearly $300, before the tip. Uh oh, our budget, even if very informal, did not allow for $300 dinners.

    We did not belong there for sure; however it was too late. But being professionals and respectable patrons we did exactly what we should do.

    We made lots more noise, laughed at ourselves, repeated out loud, “We don’t belong here!”

    We paid the bill with an appropriate $45 tip and left.

    Today, over 10 years later, we can’t easily recall the name of the restaurant, but we clearly recall that we did not belong there.