Teddy Burriss

Are you Listening to me

  • I moved the site

    I move the enitre tlburiss.com site to a new wordpress hosting.

    My intent is only to keep these articles until I am ready to shut it all down.

    Or, maybe I’ll get back into writing again

  • A Little Dribbling Rain

    Up betimes. Called up by my tailor, and there first put on a summer suit this year; but it was not my fine one of flowered tabby vest, and coloured camelott tunique, because it was too fine with the gold lace at the hands, that I was afeard to be seen in it; but put on the stuff suit I made the last year, which is now repaired; and so did go to the Office in it, and sat all the morning, the day looking as if it would be fowle. At noon home to dinner, and there find my wife extraordinary fine, with her flowered tabby gown that she made two years ago, now laced exceeding pretty; and, indeed, was fine all over; and mighty earnest to go, though the day was very lowering; and she would have me put on my fine suit, which I did. And so anon we went alone through the town with our new liveries of serge, and the horses’ manes and tails tied with red ribbons, and the standards there gilt with varnish, and all clean, and green refines, that people did mightily look upon us; and, the truth is, I did not see any coach more pretty, though more gay, than ours, all the day. But we set out, out of humour—I because Betty, whom I expected, was not come to go with us; and my wife that I would sit on the same seat with her, which she likes not, being so fine: and she then expected to meet Sheres, which we did in the Pell Mell, and, against my will, I was forced to take him into the coach, but was sullen all day almost, and little complaisant: the day also being unpleasing, though the Park full of coaches, but dusty and windy, and cold, and now and then a little dribbling rain; and, what made it worst, there were so many hackney-coaches as spoiled the sight of the gentlemen’s; and so we had little pleasure. But here was W. Batelier and his sister in a borrowed coach by themselves, and I took them and we to the lodge; and at the door did give them a syllabub, and other things, cost me 12s., and pretty merry. And so back to the coaches, and there till the evening, and then home, leaving Mr. Sheres at St. James’s Gate, where he took leave of us for altogether, he; being this night to set out for Portsmouth post, in his way to Tangier, which troubled my wife mightily, who is mighty, though not, I think, too fond of him. But she was out of humour all the evening, and I vexed at her for it, and she did not rest almost all the night, so as in the night I was forced; to take her and hug her to put her to rest. So home, and after a little supper, to bed.

  • I can clearly see my Dad

    by

    Today my Dad was laid to rest 82 years, to the day, from when he was born.

    He did what God wanted him to do in his life and now he is done.

    Because of the pandemic, I am not able to see my Dad, one last time.

    However;

    I can clearly see my Dad as he swings a bat and hits a softball farther than any Dad had ever hit a ball. Over and over again as the sun sets over Sugarloaf Mountain.

    I can clearly see my Dad tirelessly working his side business, after a long day at his full-time electrician’s job, to create the money needed to raise his family.

    I can clearly see my Dad as he helped me learn how to build things, fix things, and even tear things apart & put them back together again.

    I can clearly see my Dad when I worked alongside him learning about electricity, construction, welding, metalworking, automotive stuff, and plumbing.

    I can clearly see my Dad as he said to me, “Don’t worry about stuff you can’t change.” (I relearned this later in life as well.)

    I can clearly see my Dad as he drove an old topless Willys Jeep through the blinding snow to get a 55-gallon barrel of fuel oil for our furnace, never once complaining about doing it.

    I can clearly see my Dad looking me in the eye after I wrecked his truck, and without raising his voice or getting mad he said, “Fix it.” (I did)

    I can clearly see my Dad as he did what he could do to help others. I never heard him complain about anything he had to do or turn down helping those he could help.

    I can clearly see my Dad as I held the flashlight for him while he worked on something that needed to be fixed. Yes, I too remember him saying, “Over here boy, I’m not working over there,” as I let the light drift away.

    I can clearly see my Dad with what he needed to live a good life. No fancy new cars or trucks, no whiz-bang tools or expensive man toys. I never heard my Dad say, “I wish I had…” I learned the value of living a simple & blessed life from my Dad. It’s made a huge difference in my life as I strive to also live a simple and blessed life.

    I can clearly see my Dad pulling a calf out of the frozen pool and back into the stable to recuperate. To me, he was a hero saving our calf. (BTW – some of the best hamburgers ever).

    I can clearly see my Dad numerous times over the years, in the hospital, sometimes facing death, often in pain, maybe showing a little fear, but never complaining.

    I can clearly see my Dad leaving the house every morning before the sun rose to drive to work, never complaining about the drive or the long hours on the construction sites he worked.

    I can clearly see my Dad doing what God wanted him to do; raising and caring for his family, even helping his children once they were grown and needed his help. I never heard him complain as he did what he could.

    I won’t be able to see my Dad as he is being laid to rest. But I can clearly see my Dad from all the memories I have and I know I’ll be able to continue seeing him as I continue my life.

    Rest in Peace Dad.

    Love, Teddy Lee Burriss Jr.

  • izzy-Shania

    by

    Watch this video

    Yet, she can be this as well.

  • We Went South

    20 years ago this week, 2/12/1997, the entire Burriss Tribe, Teddy, Rebecca, Jessie, Rachel, Megan & Lauren hopped in the Honda mini-van and headed south to Advance North Carolina.

    The journey began around November of 1996 with a potential move to New Jersey. However before we made the move north we got notice North Carolina would be where my job would finally be based.

    The move to North Carolina was chaotic and emotional. We left a new community and new school systems into an older community with older less technological schools.

    It took lots of work, patience and prayers to transition the teen age and pre-teen daughters through this change. However, within three months the emotions calmed and happiness began to develop for the entire family.

    20 years later the girls (aka Myrtles) have all moved out of the house and into their own homes and developing families.

    The family has grow significantly to include 4 men (aka the Stallions), 10 GrandWeWaps (grandkids), three new dogs and a few cats and chickens.

    Our network of friends have grown significantly and our community involvement continues to grow in many different ways.

    We all loved Maryland and our friends and home in Monrovia.

    Today, we all love having moved into North Carolina, our friends and businesses we have built down here.

    Thank you North Carolina for welcoming us into this state.

  • I know I am a Blessed Man

    by

    I know I am a blessed man. Here are some of the reasons I have that remind me of this every day.

    1. I’m blessed that I am healthy. Yes, I know as a 58 yr old I can’t do everything I was able to do as a teenager, but I’m doing pretty good and I am not taking any drugs. I’m blessed that I am healthy.

      Bum and the Mytrles
      Bum and the Myrtles
    2. I’m blessed that I have been happily married for 38+ yrs with the woman I fell in love with way back then. We laugh together, pray together, play together, have many of the same goals and enjoy each other’s company most of the time. I’m a man – sometimes I need to be checked and I’m blessed that she wants to keep me in check. I’m blessed my wife still loves me.
    3. I’m blessed to have 4 daughters who are healthy, independent, in love, enjoying and living their own lives. I’m blessed that they call me Dad, Friend, Coach and Helper when they want my help. I’m blessed to have 4 beautiful daughters.boppy-and-stallions-2016
    4. I’m blessed to have my 4 Stallions. These are the guys who have taken the lead in my daughter’s lives and love them, care for them, support them and even keep them in check when they need it. I’m blessed they call me Boppy, Friend, Coach and Helper when they want my help. I am blessed to have these guys in my life.

      The GrandWeWaps
      The GrandWeWaps in 2016
    5. I’m blessed to have 10 GrandWeWaps. These are the children of my 4 daughters and the Stallions. I’m blessed they like to visit me and enjoy the time they spend with me when I visit them. I’m blessed they like some of my stories and a few of my jokes. I’m blessed they call me Boppy, Friend and sometimes a smart old man. I’m blessed that when they leave they give me a hug goodbye and sometimes ask me to come back soon. I’m blessed to have these great youngsters in my life.
    6. I’m blessed to have hundreds of friends who I get to laugh with, work with, play with, help our community with and care for and who care for me. I’m blessed to have a thriving network of friends in my life.
    7. I’m blessed to have all of the materialistic stuff I need to survive and even thrive in life. I used to say it’s not much, however, I am more than thrilled every day of my life that I’m blessed to have far more than I need or deserve in life.
    8. I’m blessed my future is brighter than I ever imagined it could be. I’m blessed that I get to work towards my goals in life and to have so many people on this fabulous journey with me.
    9. I’m blessed my wife and I chose to start a business together and we are exceeding all of our goals as we work together to create this business. I’m blessed to be able to work towards these business goals with my beautiful and loving wife.
    10. I’m blessed to live in a country where I have the freedom to choose my own goals in life, what I want to do and where I want to live and work. I’m blessed to be able to make decisions that can positively influence my future despite all the changes going on in our world.
    11. I’m blessed to be able to learn from others and grow as an individual. I’m blessed by all those in my life I get to learn from.
    12. I’m blessed to be able to help others. My wife and I jointly made the decision in 2010 to give back to our community as much as we possibly can. I’m blessed that this giving has been rewarding and enabled me to meet so many fabulous people who have also helped me in so many ways.
    13. I’m blessed that on this Sunday evening after Thanksgiving 2016 I get to sit back in my living room, watch a little football and scribble down this short list of reasons that remind me every day that I am blessed.

    I realize that I am far more blessed than I deserve. I know that many people in my community and in the world are far less fortunate than I am.

    I ask God every day to help me to do what I can to help others knowing that only when I give can I receive. I know giving is important and being able what I can is not a requirement or a responsibility to me. Rather giving back to others is a life purpose and a blessing for me.

    I am blessed. Thank you God for all of my blessings.

  • My oldest is 34 today – What is that all about

    by

    Today is January 3, 2016.

    34 years ago the announcement that may have been printed in the local paper would have said, “Mr Teddy Burriss & his lovely wife Rebecca (aka Bum) are the proud parents of a bouncing baby girl.”

    Jessie

    I asked them not to print that because I had yet to see our newborn baby bounce. And, Rebecca did not want me to test her.

    True story – As an infant, I dropped her once and I was not testing the bounce theory.

    Fast forward to yesterday when this observation of being the Father of a 34 year old really hit me.

    I decided to look back at the past 34 years and review the memories.

    Here are the ones that came to mind the quickest, not necessarily in chronological order:

    • 8lbs, 1 oz, 21.5″ long, ear is red from doctor using forceps, no birth marks
    • very alert, as if to be asking “who is that loud guy?”
    • blue eyes, ultimately blond hair at year 1
    • Ronald Regan was our President
    • loved to put food in her hair
    • Loves mashed potatoes
    • face plant at the pool
    • cousins
    • burb-bottom
    • loves to help mom cook
    • Dad hung Aubrey (the doll)
    • at Fireworks – ‘change the channel please’
    • “I’ll have Chicken nuggets and for my two sides I’ll have mashed potatoes and mashed potatoes”
    • Made me smile day one and still today
    • Short curly hair as a child
    • She loves (loved?) mismatched clothes
    • Play music and she danced. More like her mommy, not her daddy
    • Put a crayon or pencil in her hand and she smiled as she wrote words
    • She loves to learn
    • She loves the teachers who care to teach her
    • She asks lots of questions
    • She was as beautiful as a child as she is today
    • No, she did not have me wrapped around her little finger
    • I gave her my favorite little car
    • Miss curfew and Mom will run down the sidewalk in her big fluffy yellow robe & curlers in her hair to yell at you and your boy friend
    • She was clear and precise at finding her life partner. Skips celebrations on Leap Year since 2000
    • Her husband is a good choice.
    • The trials and tribulations of becoming a tenant. Slum lords suck
    • Love pushes you to achieve lots of goals, including your husband’s US Citizenship. It was all him, but with a good women behind him
    • Early Home Owner  because you built your Credit Score
    • You became a fabulous mommy in development on 5/13/2003
    • “What do you hear?”, “I hear two”, “two what”, “heart beats”, “where”, in there”, “in her?”….
    • A business woman has Focus, Passion, Desire, Attitude, Ability, Purpose, Goal, Compassion, Faith and never lets anything stop her from building a thriving business that changes peoples lives in a positive way
    • Landlord, Home Owner & Mortgage Banker
    • Yeah, we’ll have 4 children
    • Your family is my family, let’s do what we can to help them
    • Our home is their home
    • We are responsible for her success because we brought her to our home. We’ll treat her like our daughter.
    • Tippy
    • Becca
    • Rosie
    • Bubble Lips
    • Hard work is only for those who don’t love their business
    • Yes baby, we’ll move to Raleigh because you love your job
    • Tree
    • Luge in the back yard in the winter
    • Walking in the blizzard
    • Can I play with the computer Daddy?
    • What is the Internet and how do you make money using it?
    • Myrtle
    • GrandWeWaps
    • Dad bought a bra
    • Boss & Leader
    • Entrepreneur
    • Activist
    • Writer
    • Why is Izzy crying now?
    • Columnist
    • If the answer should be yes, she’ll not take no for an answer.
    • Smart
    • Sassy
    • Frugal
    • Moola Saving Mom is a success!
    • Strategist
    • Happy
    • Loving

    My daughter – Jessie Lee.

    I am a blessed Man. I have four beautiful smart, compassionate daughters. Each raising their own family. Being a Blessed Dad kicked off for me 34 years ago.

    Happy Birthday Jessie

    I love you

    Dad

    Here are some images that sparked my memories

  • Teddy in Bed

    Teddy in Bed

    Did you really expect me to have the lights on?

    Happy April Fools Day!

     

  • New Years Eve Failure or Not

    New Year’s Eve Failure or Not?

    Last night, 12/31/14 Bum & I went to a local bar for a New Year’s Eve Celebration that failed but was yet a great time.

    Our daughter Megan and her husband Marc invited us (Bum & I) to join them at Classics Bar & Grill in Advance NC, right down the road from where I live. Normally we do not go out on New Year’s Eve, but thought this would be fun to do, so we agreed.

    We got there at 7 pm and there were less than 20 people in the bar. The table area was nearly completely empty.

    After ordering a round the waitress told us that the restaurant was going to close at 8 pm. We all laughed at what we thought was a joke, but, Nope, she was serious.

    On New Year’s Eve, the only local bar, positioned in a community that is poised to explode over the next few years and they are closing early on New Year’s Eve.

    This seems to be a New Years Eve Failure

    While we laughed at what we considered a business failure here is what else happened:

    Repeatedly one lady in the bar kept playing music on the digital jukebox. Each time she swiped her card in the credit card slot she appeared to be twerking with the jukebox.

    Yeah, yeah, I know people dance in front of jukeboxes all the time. This was way different.  She appeared to be twerking on the jukebox. We were laughing so hard more than one of us snorted at the table. Later we discovered it was one of the bar owners.

    When ordering another round of beer we thought about ordering a beer tower. The price was not too bad and Courtney would put our favorite beer in it. However, since the bar was closing in less than 1 hour she suggested that we not order a beer tower. We agreed. 10 minutes later the table behind us ordered one and had it delivered. We laughed thinking there was no way 4 people could drink 12 beers in less than 30 minutes. We were wrong.

    An older guy walked up to our table and wished us a Happy New Year. While talking he said he had two wives and had owned two expensive homes, neither of which he still had or lived in, yet his ex-wives were very happy in “them thar homes.” He said he now lives in a hotel room.

    I wished him better success in 2015. He came back later and in the chat, I told him Bum and I were still married after 37 years. He was so excited, cajoled us into standing up and hugging him. Later on, we saw him dancing with an older woman up near the jukebox. Our barmaid told us it was his mother.

    At around 8:30 pm, 30 minutes past closing time I wanted another beer. Our barmaid came over to the table to check on us. I told her I wanted another beer, but I would not order one if she wanted us to leave. She looked like she wanted us to leave, but agreed that because she had work to do in the back room I could have another beer. Megan wanted another margarita too.

    We joked with the barmaid about a local bar wanting to close at 8 pm on New Year’s Eve. When I asked her what she was going to do after work she said she was going to go home and cook Bang Bang Shrimp. I asked if we could come over and she said yes. I’m a smart man. Bum was there and I knew the barmaid only wanted a bigger tip. She left laughing to get my beer. She came back with my beer but forgot Megan’s drink.

    We finished up laughing and cutting up with the barmaid by about 8:45 pm. We were nearly the last people out of the bar. On the way out of the bar, we saw the sign on the doors. Handwritten on yellow ledger paper, “Closing at 8 pm New Year’s Eve.”

    We didn’t get a chance to close down the year in this local bar, but we closed down the local bar on New Year’s Eve.

    Normally if we were told to exit a local bar at 8 pm on New Year’s Eve we would consider it a New Years’ Eve Failure. However, everything else that happened that night made it somewhat successful, ie – funny.

  • We can all be a Contributing Member of Society

    “All I expect from my children is that they find a way to become a contributing member of society.” Sometimes I continue with, “It does not matter to me what you do, just do something that adds some value to your community.”  I’ve changed my view of this edict. (more…)

  • Prayers Lifted for NICU Babies

    Abigail-RosaleeTrivette

    Last weekend (8/23/2014) I spent time in the NICU of Mission Children’s Hospital when our newest GrandWeWap Twins were born that morning.  My second daughter Rachel and her husband Sid Trivette, the proud parents were there with my wife, Rebecca (aka Bum) and two other daughters (Jessie & Lauren).

    Abigail & Rosalee had challenges, yet I prayed and believed that God would guide the good folks at the hospital to safely get the girls thru this period in their young lives.

    Abigail and Rosalee were nearly 5lb babies and born at approximately 34 weeks (full term births are between 37 & 42 weeks).

    While waiting for the nurse and doctors to take care of our girls, I walked the NICU floor and saw many other children that believed needed our prayers.

    That weekend there were 48 babies in this NICU. At least nine sets of twins according to one of the nurses working there.

    As I walked around I saw lots of babies being taken care of by dozens of doctors and nurses. There were portable x-ray equipment moving around the floor, lots of equipment being monitored and medical supplies, drugs and fluids being distributed. It was a very busy and emotional place to be.

    I saw and looked into the faces of lots of anxious parents. I saw excitement, fear and hope all bundled up in the eyes of these parents. I intentionally shared a smile with each glance and often received a smile back.

    I continued quietly walking the floor until I came back to section C where our girls were. I walked up to Abigail and gave her a “Boppy” finger hug. She hugged me back with her tiny little fingers. I walked over to Rosalee, hugged her finger as well and she returned the hug too.

    Today (Monday September 1, 2014) I got an email message from some professional friends at The Green Shoe Studios that reminded me that I live a blessed life.

    With, 9 Grandkids, four daughters and their respective partners and my wife of 34 some odd years, my life is filled with excitement, happiness and love. We have our challenges, but all in all I live a very blessed life.

    When I read the message from Green Shoe Studios and watched the YouTube video I knew I should share it with you.

    Watch this video, listen to the story and then think for a moment, do you too live a blessed life? If you feel the desire, do what you want and can to help Aiden and his family. And, take another moment and lift a prayer for NICU babies.

    Thanks for letting me share this with you.

    Teddy

  • How many Lisas do you know

    I originally wrote “How Many Mikes do you know.”

    Here is what I discovered about the women in my LinkedIn Network.

    Out of now 3890 people, here is a list of the women’s names that showed up 10 or more times each.

    First Name Count
    Lisa 41
    Mary 29
    Susan 26
    Jennifer 22
    Karen 21
    Julie 20
    Linda 19
    Robin 19
    Donna 18
    Ashley 17
    Amy 16
    Ann 16
    Kimberly 16
    Lori 16
    Stephanie 16
    Angela 15
    Barbara 14
    Deborah 14
    Amanda 13
    Beth 13
    Kim 12
    Laura 12
    Melissa 12
    Tracy 12
    Denise 11
    Elizabeth 11
    Heather 11
    Kathryn 11
    Pam 11
    Sharon 11
    Tammy 11
    Teresa 11
    Brenda 10
    Cheryl 10
    Debbie 10
    Katherine 10
    Michelle 10
    Rachel 10
    Sarah 10

    Each of these individuals are unique in their own right, even though, not in name.

    I hope you enjoyed this little un-scientific research.

    Teddy

  • Holding the flashlight

    I recently heard a speaker say this, “I hated holding the flashlight for my Dad.”

    The speaker continued on with his perspective of this simple little task. He told how as a little boy his Dad always asked him to hold the flashlight while working on various tasks that needed just a little more light.  Fixing a blown fuse, a broken light fixture, switch, or something on the old Plymouth. What he remembers the most was when, (not if) the beam of light drifted from the work area, his Dad would snort which alerted this young man to pull the flashlight back into position. He hated doing this.

    I remember these days as well.

    As a youngster in the mid-1960s & ’70s, I held the flashlight and did many other simple tasks for my Dad.

    I carried and fetched tools, pulled weeds, dug holes, filled holes, used a sickle, swept the shop floor, wire brushed the spots Dad welded, stuck welding rods in the holder (I was always scared I would get shocked), siphoned gasoline, sanded the wood & metal projects, washed the cars, washed engine parts in gasoline, hauled fuel oil for the furnace, scrapped paint, held pieces of metal and wood as my Dad cut them, welded nailed or glued them together, washed his truck, scrubbed the tires, planted potatoes (eyes up) and pulled the electrical wire through conduit. These are just a few of the little tasks that I did with my Dad as a child and young adult. Often as I did these and many other tedious tasks, my Dad stood watching and coaching me on how to do them right.

    Back then I was not always happy doing that stuff.

    Today, I appreciate that I got to do them for a couple of big reasons:

    1. I learned by watching my Dad. I learned to do electrical work, welding, gardening, plumbing, woodworking, and lots more stuff.  I learned a lot.  Today I can do all of these things myself. Not only has this saved me lots of money as I raised my own family,  I also enjoy doing these things.
    2. I learned patience, attention to detail and doing things right.  Dad was a stickler to doing it right the first time. No cutting corners or doing anything just to get it done. Do it right, or don’t do it is what I learned from my Dad.

    When my girls were home I had them hold the flashlight for me. I snorted at them just a little bit when the beam of light fell away from the work area and they pulled the flashlight back into place.  I hope they learned as much from me as I learned from my Dad.

    Who is holding your flashlight and are they learning from you?

    Happy Fathers Day Dad. I love you and treasure the days of holding the flashlight.

  • The long arm of the law got me again

    Back in August 2013, I got nailed by the North Carolina State police, again.

    This time the mini was cruising along at 70+ mph in a 55 mph portion of Rt 220 North of Greensboro.

    I thought about downshifting, slamming the throttle open further and trying to outrun the Dodge Charger the cop had, but Bum was with me. All she had to do was give me the eye, and I downshifted and pulled off the side of the road.

    The kind officer had a smile and a pleasant voice as he gave me a $30 fine that came with $183 court cost fee for doing 70 mph in a 55mph zone. Crap!

    Knowing that admitting to this would crank up my insurance, I vowed to fight this ticket to the very end.

    I was going to court.

    I got my driving record (downloaded from NC DMV for $12) and waited a few weeks for my court date.

    I got up early, worked out, ate a big breakfast and headed off to Wentworth NC in Rockingham County by 7 AM. Bum warned me about speeding, so I left the house early.

    I arrived at the Rockingham County Courthouse and you would have thought I was in downtown Atlanta. Big brick building with pillars and what looked like gold lettering on the front of the building.

    I knew better than to take my switch-blade and Glock into a courthouse, so I left them in the car with the cell phone. All I had on me was the $213 for the ticket, my driving record, license, and car keys.

    When I got to the second floor, there were already 50 people waiting in line. While they escorted us all into the courtroom another 150 people showed up. They seated us as the clerk and judge setup for traffic court.

    I got to sit in front of some guy who sounded like the phone call comic Willie Richardson. His voice and the ridiculous stories he was telling about beating up a cop, getting arrested for hitting his old lady and drinking so much beer that he passed out as he blew a .057 on the breathalyzer after wrecking his car, reminded me of Willie’s CDs.

    One after another we walked up to the judge with our ticket, license and either our driving record or driving school certificate. The people without their driving record or a driving school certificate were immediately told to go away and come back on October 29 with either their driving record or the driving school certificate. After seeing 15-20 people do this,  I gave up trying to figure out why anyone would show up to court without being prepared.

    If the infraction was a driving violation, the judge would say, “I can reduce this to Improper Equipment. Is this what you want?”

    With no hesitation, each violator said, “Yes ma’am.” The judge would check a box on the ticket and say, “You are free to go. Pay the clerk of the court outside the courtroom.”

    The same thing happened with me, “I can reduce your ticket to improper equipment, is this what you want?”

    “Yes, ma’am,” was my response as well.

    With my eleven $20 bills in my hand, I went to see the Clerk of the Court. “That will be $263, sir,” she said to me.

    My reply must have been a normal response, “I thought the ticket was $213.”

    Her reply, somewhat agitated in a manner was, “Sir the ticket is for $30, court costs are $183 and the charge for reducing the penalty is $50. Are you paying the $263 in cash now?”

    My response, not having all the money and not just a little more miffed at this entire process was less than polite, “Wow, I knew this process was screwed up, but now it’s clear to me that the logic of this entire civil penalty activity is quite ill. Where is the nearest ATM ma’am?”

    “At the sheriff’s office around the corner sir.”

    “Thank you so very much for all your assistance ma’am. I will return.”

    And I did. When I got back from the ATM machine I handed her 14 crisp $20 bills. She banged on the keyboard a little, hopefully saving me from the insurance points, put my $20 bills in her cash drawer and handed me back $17 and a receipt.

    She sort of shooed me away with, “have a good day sir.”

    And off I went.

    $30 speeding penalty

    $183 Court Costs

    $50 penalty reduction fee

    $263 total penalty for driving the mini cooper a smidgen too fast in Rockingham County North Carolina and not trying to outrun a Dodge Charger.

    I’d say I’ve learned my lesson, but my record shows this is hard for me to do.

  • My Offices

    My Offices

    Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you that my offices are every coffee shop and a few local pubs in the Triad area of NC. Here is a map of many of them.

    Here are 10 reasons I like to use local coffee shops as my office:

    1. Good coffee – Always freshly brewed
    2. Ice cold “soda” – one or two a week is not a bad thing
    3. Friendly and good people serving me
    4. Free refills – With the Starbucks Gold Card, I get free refills while I am in the office
    5. Good food in the pubs – a man has to eat, right?
    6. Free WIFI – Maybe it’s not perfect, but generally it works and it’s free.
    7. I am visible – often I get to say hello to customers, prospects and new connections who come to see me.
    8. When I get a chance to say hello, often I am asked what I’m up to. I get to spin this too, “How can I help you?”
    9. They are a more enjoyable place to have business meetings. It’s way more friendly
    10. My laptop has an ad on it – It gets seen by dozens of people every day
    11. Fresh pastries every morning
    12. I’ve done the math – $2 per day for a cup of coffee = max of $60 per month. No less expensive rent anywhere.

    I know these offices may not be the best for everyone, but they sure do work well for me.

    Follow me on FourSquare if you want to know when I’m in the office

    Thanks, @FinnegansWake, @NattyGreene, @Starbucks, @TheGreenBean & @Krankies.

     

     

     

  • Words to noodle on

    Thanks to my buddy Rick for sharing this with me. Now, I’ll share it with you.

    The nicest thing about the future is . . .
    that it always starts tomorrow.

    Money will buy a fine dog . . .
    but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

    If you don’t have a sense of humor . . .
    you probably don’t have any sense at all.

    Seat belts are not as confining . . .
    as wheelchairs.

    A good time to keep your mouth shut is . . .
    when you’re in deep water.

    How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark . .
    to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

    Business conventions are important . . .
    because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

    Why is it that at class reunions . . .
    you feel younger than everyone else looks?

    Scratch a cat (or dog) . . .
    and you will have a permanent job.

    No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy (or girl) . . .
    who wants to buy a car.

    There are no new sins . . .
    the old ones just get more publicity.

    There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m. . .
    like, it could be the right number.

    No one ever says “It’s only a game” . . .
    when their team is winning.

    I’ve reached the age where . . .
    ‘happy hour’ is a nap.

    Be careful about reading the fine print . . .
    there’s no way you’re going to like it.

    The trouble with bucket seats is that . . .
    not everybody has the same size bucket.

    Do you realize that, in about 40 years . . .
    we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)

    Money can’t buy happiness . . .
    but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than in a Yugo.

    After 60, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint . . .
    you’re probably dead.

    Life isn’t tied with a bow . . .
    but it’s still a gift.

    I hope you enjoyed these statements.

  • The Whole Secret

    by

    The Whole Secret

    A friend of mine wrote this in her journal and shared it with us this week.

    I liked it so much I asked her for permission to share it with you.

    Do you know THE Whole Secret for being happy in life?

    Here is how she answered this question:

    “I love it when people ask me to tell them my secret for BEING HAPPY because I don’t really have a secret other than:

    1. I don’t think the Universe is out to get me
    2. I don’t listen very long to people who want to convince me that I should be unhappy
    3. I pay attention to things that make me unhappy and I stop doing them as soon as possible

    That’s pretty much THE WHOLE SECRET.

     

  • Did you know all this?

    They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery…….if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor.”

    But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot……they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low

    Here are some facts about the 1500s:

    Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell.

    Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting Married.

    Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

    Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof… Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

    There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

    The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.”

    The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.

    In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

    Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.”

    They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

    Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

    Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

    Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.

    They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

    England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins was found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.

    So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

    Whoever said History was boring

  • I nearly died driving a Forklift

    It was January 1997 when I learned about Forklifts, inclines, and gravity.

    I was preparing to move my family to North Carolina and had to dispose of a bunch of stuff out of the house. One of these items was the old water heater. Rather than haul it to the landfill and pay the disposal fee, I decided to take it to one of the warehouses of the company I worked for, Lofts Seed.

    I loaded the heater into the back of my little red step-side pickup truck and headed off to the warehouse.

    It was bulky and heavy, but I was able to get it up and into the back of the truck by myself.

    If was a Sunday and no one would be at the warehouse. I called the warehouse manager to get permission to throw the heater in the dumpster. He said no problem.

    When I got to the warehouse I decided to use one of the forklifts to carry the heater out back to the dumpster.

    The dumpster I wanted to put the heater into was out back, next to the forklift ramp that led out of the warehouse.

    I headed through the warehouse to the back dock door with the heater on top of the forks. As I headed to the ramp I started raising the forks into the air so that they would be above the top edge of the dumpster.

    As I headed down the ramp, raising the forks higher and higher into the air, I turned the forklift to the left towards the dumpster.

    Can you see it yet, forks about 12 feet in the air, big heavy forklift moving downward, then sideways on an incline?

    I’m not a physicist, but I quickly learned about inertia, gravity, incline, weight, motion and instant FEAR!!!

    As the forks reached over the top of the dumpster the forklift began to fall over to the right, down the ramp. Fortunately for me, and my desire to continue living, the forks caught on the edge of the dumpster, with me and the forklift sitting at about a 45° angle to the ground.

    I managed to hang onto the steering wheel, hook my feet on the clutch and brake pedals so that I did not fall off and possibly under the forklift.

    The front drive wheels of the forklift were off the ground, so I did not have to worry about it moving, yet I still reached down and shut off the engine.

    I sat there, hanging onto the steering wheel and roll bars as I pondered what to do next. Wisely (where did that come from), I decided to climb up on top (actually left side) of the forklift and jump off, up the ramp. I felt there was less danger than climbing off, under and down the ramp.

    I stood there for a few minutes pondering what to do next. More wisdom arose in me, so I called the warehouse manager.

    “Hey John, this is Teddy. I screwed up. I accidentally flipped one of your forklifts over down the ramp. I don’t think it’s hurt, but there is no way I can get it back up on its wheels. What should I do?”

    There was no laughter in his voice as he told me to, “Go home. Leave it where alone and we’ll fix it on Monday.”

    I apologized for the problem that I created and left.

    About a week later I came by his warehouse for a meeting. We sat in his office discussing a project we were working on. The forklift story came up briefly. He told me that his guys had to get a tow truck to pull it backup upright. I offered to pay for the tow truck. He told me he’d get the cost out of me somehow. He did ask me to promise that I would never get on any company forklifts. I promised.

     

     

  • My Crab Feast going away party

    I eventually got involved in the plumbing, electronic programming, and production line design & build.

    After the plant was built, I ended up being the assistant plant manager. It was a cool job because of the dynamics and diversity.

    I have lots of stories from working at Neutron Products including Chocolate Cheese. I worked with a lot of good people. We had a good time while making pretty good money for the late 1970’s & early 1980’s.

    I left Neutron Products around 1986 to start my career in computers and technology.

    My fellow employees got together and planned a picnic as my going away party.

    I looked at a Google Maps view of Neutron Products. The Table is still there

    Everyone pitched in so we could buy bushels of steamed crabs, hamburgers, hotdogs, chips, and all of the other stuff needed for a summer picnic, going away party.

     

    There was no public drinking of beer at this party. Regardless, we had a blast. Laughing and joking and recalling all the stuff we had done over nearly the past ten years.

    • Playing poker at lunch until it got out of hand and Jack shut us down forever
    • Kozi’s coke machine going berzerk and spewing out all of the soda bottles
    • Learning how to paint from Old man Walt Snyder (no railroad tracks boy!!)
    • Falling in the Cobalt-60 tank and believing I was going to die immediately
    • Nailing myself to a wooden pallet with a nail gun
    • Getting married
    • Learning Computers, Lotus 123 & Dbase I software
    • Buying my first motorcycle
    • Dealing with the belief that Cobalt-60 radiation was contaminating the town
    • Wrecking my first motorcycle
    • Buying my first new car
    • Wrecking my fourth or fifth car
    • Going drinking with Deore, Stump & Joe.
    • Crashing two tractor-trailers into each other
    • Christmas Parties of the pre-1980’s (PARTY!!)
    • Drinking beer alongside the road at 2 pm or 3 pm each afternoon.
    • The Lottery Winning Failure of 1980.

    Times were different back then and so was the way we celebrated them. We all laughed and joked as we recalled these and many other stories of working at Neutron Products.

    I’ll never forget the Crab Feast party at Neutron Products. It was the best going away party ever.