Teddy Burriss

Are you Listening to me

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  • Boating Chaos # 4

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    This is the last of 4 boating incidents (as of now)

    Boating Incident # 4 – The last story I have occurred in an even larger boat on an even larger body of water.

    My brother-in-law, father-in-law and I decided one year to charter an ocean fishing boat.

    We started at 5:00am heading out to sea. It took about 3 or 4 hours for the problems to develop, and when they did, I was initially the only one to notice it.

    After a few hours of waves, diesel fumes, biscuits, coffee, waves, diesel fumes, waves, diesel fumes, waves and more diesel fumes, my body decided that everything I had eaten over the past few hours must go.

    Now, I handled this pretty well, with the greatest pain being mental. I was not really that embarrassed, until the first mate started trying to make me feel better. He said that he had seen this time & time again, mostly with small children and women.

    This excursion was touted as a manly thing for us to do.  And getting sea sick was not really very manly. Or at least I thought so.

    Fortunately I manned up and eventually got over the nausea. The rest of the trip was pretty nice.

    Unfortunately, my brother-in-law decided that our wives and friends needed to know all about this trip, repeatedly, year after year.

    I learned two things from this trip.

    1 – I will get sea sick if I go deep sea fishing

    2 – Tell everyone this up front so that they can’t harass me later.

  • Boating Chaos # 3

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    This is the 3rd of 4 Boating incidents (as of now)

    Boating Incident # 3 – The third time I participated in chaos in a boat was out on the Chesapeake Bay. Another group of friends and I decided that we would go fishing in the lower section of the bay. We left the marina in the wee early hours of the morning and had a good time fishing, joking and partaking of food and drink out on the bay.

    At around 3:00pm the engine broke down. Something to do with a fuel pump or something.

    We had a radio and after numerous attempts to find a service boat we were able to contact a marina service boat. He said he would be happy to come fix our boat after the thunderstorm that was heading our way.

    Now this was unbelievable. We sat thru 60mph winds, rain, hail, thunder and lightning for well over two hours.

    To make matters way worse, we ran out of beer and junk food before the storms started up.

    Because of the winds we could not anchor the boat. We just spun and spun and spun around on the water.

    SCARED – Not me. I was way to busy praying and pondering writing my wife my final love letter.

    Well, as you can see we made it thru the storm. The service boat showed up at around 7:00pm, we got back to the marina at midnight and then back home before 3:00AM the next day.

    Our wives were waiting up for us, less because of the fear of danger, and more because they were sure we were totally up to no good.

    They developed some level of concern for our potential demise only after we convinced them of our story.

    I learned two things from this experience.

    1 – Know the cell phone number of the service boats

    2 – Bring more beer

     

  • Boating Chaos # 2

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    This is the 2nd of 4 boating stories (as of now)

    Boating Incident # 2-

    A group of family and friends took a small ski boat out on the Potomac River. We all decided that we needed to learn how to water ski on the river.

    After a few hours of feeble (& painful) attempts at water skiing and no one really able to celebrate any good skiing at all, the boat ran out of gas.

    Now normally this would not be so bad. However we drifting down a fairly swift river.

    With no other boats around, the quiet of the afternoon soon was pierced by two loud noises.

    First the thundering of water cascading down an area called The Great Falls.

    The second noise was all of us screaming, now totally freaked out and fearing death, or at least a lot of pain if we were to go over the falls.

    We eventually regained our calm. We found the emergency paddles in the belly of the vessel and began frantically paddling towards the shore. The combination of prayer and rapid paddling got us to the shore only minutes before we reached the falls.

    Even though we were lucky to not go over the falls, the pain was yet to come.

    We tied the boat up on some brush and started climbing the river bank. The bank was covered in weeds that were wet with a nasty sap.  Because we were all in our swim trunks, the sap got on our legs and began burning.  Add the burning to the pain from sharp thorns of other brush and we were getting beat up pretty bad. None of us realized what we were into until we were half way up the bank.

    Two of us continued up the bank, the other two went back to the boat whimpering all the way.

    Regardless of which direction we went, all of us were in serious pain from the burning sap.

    This was before cell phones. We walked nearly a mile back to the marina.

    We commandeered a small motor boat (full of fuel and a good motor) and took fuel back to the disabled ski boat.

    I learned two things from this incident

    1 – Make sure the boat is full of fuel and monitor the fuel level

    2 – Stay with the boat and beer and send others up the bank to get the fuel.

  • Boating Chaos # 1

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    This is story number 1 of 4 (as of now)

    Boating Incident #1 – The first time I had any problems boating was the afternoon that my brother-in-law and I decided to go crabbing in a row boat with a motor.

    We were vacationing outside of Ocean City MD near a small bay named Assawoman Bay. Please don’t ask me for the history of this bay. I have no idea how the name was chosen.

    Link and I failed to achieve our goal of catching any crabs for dinner that night. Therefore we decided to head our little boat towards a marina next to the inlet. We were sure that a good cold beer would help us forget that we caught nothing.

    Now, Link and I are educated and experienced men. We are however, not very knowledgeable regarding the times for low tide at Assawomen Bay, which empties into the great Atlantic Ocean with thunderous waves. As we motored towards the marina where our ice cold beers were sure to be, we realized that our little motorboat was zipping along at a pace we had not yet experienced. I mean, it was flying.

    We were being sucked out to sea by low tide. We put our heads together and figured out that we needed to turn the boat around. As soon as we did this we realized that, even though we were at full throttle, we were still heading out to sea.

    The tide was faster than the little Putt-Putt. We never thought about doom or death. We did however, strategize and decided to angle the boat in such a way that as the tide sucked us out toward the inlet, backwards, we were still heading towards the marina.

    Our strategy worked and we celebrated our win over the tide & Ocean with a nice cold Coke. Unfortunately there was no beer at the marina.

    There are at least two things we learned from this experience

    1 – Never take a little motor boat out in a bay connected to the ocean

    2 – Stay away from marinas that do not have beer.

     

     

  • Social Media Privacy – NOT

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    I have no concern for or expectation of Social Media privacy.

    Why:

    Because Social Media sites are intended to be Social and IMHO intended to share publicly consumable content.

    Being social includes engaging and sharing with others.

    When you engage with others hopefully you would never stand naked in public, spouting foul words and doing nasty, disgusting things. Similarly, when you engage with others in Social Media, you should never post anything that you would not say in public.

    Also, you would never stand on a street corner and hand out a list of your business and  private, confidential information. Therefore, don’t post any confidential or private information on any social media site.

    Therefore, take the concept and expectation of privacy, security or confidentiality out of every conversation regarding Social Media.

    We need to consider Social Media as public content sites and that we are all contributors. Our role is to provide relevant, interesting and useful information for others to consume.

    Additionally, yes, I know that there are many security and privacy features built into Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, WordPress, etc. These features provide some level of general security that can prohibit users from hacking our accounts and in some cases seeing our content. However beyond getting my account hacked, I do not want or need to trust the other security features.

    I want my content to be accessible by anyone who desires to come looking for it.

    Because I treat these systems as public sites and because I want to publicly contribute and collaborate with others. There is no need for anyone to ask for my Facebook password. All of my content is publicly accessible. Every post, picture, comment, tweet, discussion, connection, friend and fan are public content. Pure & simple to me.

    Just to be clear, I expect my bank, financial institutions, credit cards, email messages, voice mail messages, private conversations and even thoughts to be private and confidential. If these systems get compromised in any way I will not be happy.

    In conclusion I suggest you accept that there is no privacy using Social Media, just as there is no privacy standing on a street corner.

    It’s more enjoyable, rewarding, engaging and beneficial if you set yourself free to share openly with no expectations of privacy.

  • Merchant Fail

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    What would you do if over the past few months this happened to you?

    Issue # 1 – Merchant’s tire said, “You need windshield wipers, should we replace them for you?”

    I said , “Yes, please install with the least expensive set you have.”

    They install a set that cost nearly $50 and did not think it was important to let me know they only have one style of wipers in their stores. And, no they are not made of gold or platinum.

    Issue # 2 – Merchant’s tire replaced nearly the entire breaking system on my daughter’s car. A rather expensive repair bill.

    During the next few weeks the breaks keep locking up as she uses them. She called them repeatedly and finally agreed to look at the problem. We take the car back twice and they say “There is nothing wrong with the breaks or our work, You must be hitting the break pedal too hard”

    Finally very frustrated, we take the car to another service shop and $400+ later the problem is corrected.  The break parts had not been installed properly according to the other service shop.

    Issue # 3 – My daughter goes back to Merchant’s tire yet again because of a great deal on 4 New tires. They convince her to use another deal they had that included 4 tires, Road Side Assistance, Front end alignment and a free oil change.  They do all of the work but would not change the oil because the “dip stick broke off in the engine and they can’t get it out.”

    I show up, raise the hood on the car, see the dipstick in the pickup tube, ask to borrow a long needle nose pliers and extract the dipstick.  They did not even try to get it out and they were not even worried about the dipstick being down inside the engine. I consider this just plain lazy.

    Merchant Tire guy, “I’m glad we could get it out for you sir.”

    Me, “You didn’t. I did.”

     

    Point of interest # 1 – There is a new auto service center being built right down the street and I think it’s going to be ready soon.

    So, what would you do?

    I know that I am done with Merchants Tire.

    I will never visit another for any reason.

    And if I am ever asked, I feel it’s my consumer responsibility to forward this story and my full editorial comments (non PC, can’t be written)

     

  • A different perspective

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    Give a Man a fish and you’ll feed him for a day

    Teach a Man to fish and he’ll eat for his lifetime

    Build a Man a fire and he’ll be warm for a day

    Set a Man on fire and he’ll be warm for his lifetime

    This morphed parable was created by an individual who really does not like people. Can you tell.

  • Don’t Worry

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    When ever you feel that the day to day challenges have got you beat, remember, when all is said and done you only have 2 things to really worry about

    If you have “good” health or “bad” health. If you have “good” health, you really have nothing to worry about.

    If you have “bad” health, then you only have 2 things to worry about.

    If you’re going to live or if you’re going to die. If you’re going to live, you really have nothing to worry about.

    If you’re going to die, well, then you really only have 2 things to worry about.

    If you’re going to heaven, or if you’re going to hell. If you’re going to heaven, you really have nothing to worry about.

    But if you’re going to hell, well, then you’ll be spending so much time catching up with old friends, that you won’t have anything to worry about.

    Remember, you only have 2 things to really worry about.

  • New Internet Jokes

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    I stole these jokes from a www.myce.com a website about technology and gadgets.

    A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
    A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
    A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
    A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
    A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
    A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
    A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
    A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
    Acupuncture is a jab well done.
    Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..
    Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
    Dijon vu – the same mustard as before..
    Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
    Every calendar’s days are numbered..
    He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
    If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
    In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
    Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
    Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
    Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
    Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
    She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
    Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.
    The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
    Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
    Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
    What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)
    When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
    With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
    You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

  • Do you need Four Leaf Clover Luck?

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    As I mowed the grass today I thought about four leafed clovers. When I got done, I did this little video of my thoughts.

    Happy Saint Patrick’s Day folks.  I hope you have good luck despite not having a 4 leafed clover.

  • The Shamrock

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    The Shamrock and four leafed clover

    According to an article I read on http://www.history.com, The Irish considered the shamrock or “seamroy”, as it was originally called, as a symbol of the rebirth of spring.

    By the seventeenth century the Shamrock became a symbol of the emerging Irish nationalism.

    Many Irish wore a shamrock as a symbol of their pride in their heritage. This practice of wearing a shamrock design or clover grew as the English began to seize Irish land and the Irish wanted to show their displeasure of English rule.

    According to some folk lore, Eve carried a four leaf clover from the Garden of Eden.

    White clover is the most likely source of four leaf clover.

    The early Celts of Wales held the four leaf clover in high esteem as a charm against evil spirits.

    Druids thought the powers of four leaf clovers were a sign of good luck. It was thought that walking thru a field of the four leaved grass would bring good things, in short order, to the walkers.

    The mystical benefits of four leaf clover continues today, in part because of the rareness of the plant.

    Regarding wearing Green on St Patricks day:

    The Irish flag had green, white and orange in it.

    In Ireland, the Catholics were identified by green. Supposedly the orange represented the Protestants and the green represented the Catholics. The white represented the peace between the two.

    Saint Patrick, a Catholic saint was credited with converting the island over to Christianity. Therefore, wearing green had been considered a good way to honor him.

    During the earlier clashes in Ireland between the Catholics and Protestants, it was not unusual to see men in green clashing with men in orange.

    The traditional pinching of a person who wears does not wear green on St. Patrick’s Day is a mild form of the violence that has so often occurred in the past.

    So, in conclusion.

    Did you find a 4 leaf clover today? Did you wear green? If you are not Irish, does it really matter to you?

    Let’s have fun anyway. Maybe draw the line at pinching strangers not wearing green today.

  • I love cafe chatter

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    Except when they cause me to lose track of what I am doing. Then I have to write a story about it.

    These are just a few of the real conversations I heard behind me this morning. I heard all of this because the guy had the back of his chair banging into the back of mine. And, I did not make any of this up:

    “Protect yourself from the crazy people on the internet. Use VPNs. My favorite is the sever in China. It’s real safe.”

    “The only thing I like about the apple computers are the lighted keyboards. Beyond that, I am totally confused.”

    “I don’t like Itunes at all. I don’t want big brother to know what music I stole.”

    “Wow, my computer is acting real weird, I better shut it down. Someone is probably hacking into it right now.”

    “What do you think about Linux over Windows 7 or, what is the OS on your Mac? You don’t know, that’s strange.”

    “I don’t like Norton Antivirus. If you let the subscription expire it actually turns into a virus too,”

    “Do backup into the cloud? I prefer to backup to portable USB drives. Here is mine right here – I take it with me everywhere.”

    “My laptop keeps blue screening. That’s OK, I’m used to it. It does not bother me much.”

    “My wife has a MAc, my daughters have Ipads, IPhones, Ipods and all those other apple things. I like my old dell best.”

    What is the strangest cafe conversation you over heard recently?

  • What kind of a Freak are you?

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    I heard a friend talk about being a Temporary Freak today. He was referencing his activity on LinkedIn.

    This got me to thinking – What kind of a Freak am I?

    First of all, a Freak is not a bad thing.  My definition of Freak is “A very unusual and unexpected individual.”

    In most of what I do, I am a Freak.

    I live life in an unusual manner.

    My business is as unusual as you can imagine.

    I participate in Social Media quite unusual or differently than most

    My Network style (Networking for Mutual Benefit) is very unexpectedly to others.

    I share who I am as a person with just about anyone willing to take a peek at me and what I do, and for most, this is very unexpected.

    And for me, I am not a Temporary Freak.

    We joked that in regards to being a Freak you could be:

    Contracted, Temporary, Part Time, Retired, Semi, Complete. Partial, Accidental, SubConscious, Comatose and/or Full Time.

    In regards to Participating in Life and Social Media, I feel that I am a Full Time nearly Complete Freak.

    I try hard to be consistent and honest in these areas, despite the fact that many feel I am unusual and unexpected.

    What kind of a Freak are you in Life?

  • I hate feeling Naked in Public

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    FYI – this post is not contradictory to my previous post titled I Love to get Naked in Public

    I believe in simplicity and practice it regularly.

    I carry the simplest of eye glasses.  Replaceable with a spare in the car or a quick visit to any drug store (1.5X is easy to purchase).

    I don’t carry cash or change in my pockets.

    I have 2 credit cards, a Starbucks card, my insurance card and drivers license in a very thin simple wallet.

    I don’t use a wrist watch. I don’t care much about what time it is unless I have an appointment somewhere. My Iphone alerts me of my schedule with sounds and vibrations as needed.

    I don’t carry a bunch of keys, actually the only key that I carry is the one that starts my car. I do have other keys, I just refuse to carry them with me all day long.

    I have always had a Smart Phone (since the first Palms and Blackberrys). Today I have an Iphone. It has all of my contact information, calendar and access to all of my important information.

    When I leave my bedroom in the mornings I have the following with me:

    • My glasses in my shirt pocket or hanging from my collar
    • My Iphone in my right front pocket
    • My car keys in my right rear pocket
    • My wallet in my left front pocket

    I have become very accustomed of checking that I have all of my stuff from the moment I leave my house until I end my day.

    I can quickly and efficiently grab all four locations to “check” that I have everything.

    I am not supposed to be anywhere (repeat ANYWHERE) without my stuff.

    If I leave the house and don’t have an item in it’s appropriate pocket, I feel Naked and this is a very uncomfortable feeling.

    I need my keys because I have to go places

    I need my wallet – the world demands access to my money and identification

    I need my Iphone, well, just because I NEED MY IPHONE!

    If I find that any of these items are missing, an immense feeling of dread and even fear overtakes my body. Almost like being Naked in public.  Feeling Naked in Public is a very unsettling feeling. Do you agree?

    I refuse to feel Naked in Public

    I have driven 10 miles away from my home, realized that I failed to bring my Iphone. This is a freaky feeling. I have driven across the median on I-40,turned around and driven home to retrieve my Iphone.

    I few weeks ago I left a restaurant in Greensboro NC, drove the 30 miles back to Winston-Salem and discovered that I left my wallet on the table in the restaurant. With no second thought, I got back in my car, drove back to Greensboro and with a small tear in my eye, retrieved my wallet.

    Thru out the day if I grab or pat down each of my pockets to confirm I am fully dressed.

    I live a simple life and carry only the basics with me.  Not having any of them with me makes me feel Naked in Public.

    And I am sure, you don’t want me to feel Naked in Public. Have you ever felt Naked in Public?

  • I love to get Naked in Public

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    I love to get Naked.

    The all natural feeling of getting Naked is something that I enjoy immensely.

    The uplifting feeling is good for my body and soul when I get Naked

    I especially like the cool feeling of getting Naked

    Sometimes I get Naked in private.

    Often I get Naked in public and enjoy doing so.

    If you have never gotten Naked in public, please don’t judge me until you try it yourself.

    Of course if you have gotten Naked in public, I am sure you agree with me that getting Naked is a good thing.

    Once I got Naked in public and a lady friend of mine asked if she could get Naked with me.

    I love it when friends and even complete strangers get Naked in public with me.

    I recently took a picture of getting Naked in a conference room.  If you want to see it, click here

     

  • Another TV Appearance

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    Again, I am a TV Star.

    Or at least the back of my head was.

    You can see the full story about Professionals in Transition’s 20th Anniversary on MyFox8 and the Buckley report.

    The story is about Damian Berkel and the work he and his team of volunteers have been doing to help the unemployed and Job seekers over the past 20 years.

    I am glad to be one of these volunteers for the past year and a half.

    Professionals in Transition (PIT) is a great story about Good People doing Good.

    Me and my big head are just glad to be a part of this work.

    See the whole story and my big head here – PIT 20 year Anniversary

  • A jury of your peers

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    I talked to a young lady today who is sitting on her first Jury. All she has said is that some guy is on trial for something to do with drugs.

    I asked to to tell me about the trial. She refused to tell me anything.

    I asked her to just tell me the guys first name. She refused to even tell me this.

    I asked her to tell me the judges name, she would not tell me this either.

    I asked her to tell me the name of the defense attorney, again she refused.

    I prodded a little more for maybe the city where the alleged crime occurred. Nothing, absolutely nothing.

    So, I’m reaching out to you guys for some help.

    If you, a family member, personal friend of business associate is on trial for something to do with drugs, let me know.

    I’m dying to hear what this trial is all about.

     

  • I want to feel pretty today

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    It’s has been well over a year, but today I happily put on a tie.

    I looked thru the rack of 50+ ties for at least 30 seconds before I found the right one.

    I polished my shoes and made sure my pants have a nice crease in them.

    I looked twice in the mirror to make sure my hair was somewhat neat.

    I checked my finger nails to see if they needed a quick trim or clean up.

    I grabbed a nice Retro-51 pen and checked to see if it still writes.

    I slid a few extra business cards into my wallet.

    I trimmed my beard and mustache again, even though I did it last night as well.

    I made sure my shirt was tucked in neatly and that my belt was hooked into all the loops correctly.

    No, I don’t have an interview.

    No, I’m not going to a wedding.

    No funeral today.

    I just wanted to look pretty. Looking good makes you feel good.

    And, I feel freakin Great!

     

     

  • Technology for our equine friends

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    One day soon, every horse barn will have saddles, harnesses, grain, hay and an Ipad for each horse.

    Believe me – I saw it on the internet

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h57yh2AarNw

  • Happy 3rd Anniversary

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    Sometimes keeping track of you anniversaries can be a lot of work (more…)