Teddy Burriss

Are you Listening to me

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  • Burail vs Cremation Version 1

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    Personal Disclaimer – The story below is my personal opinion about burial for me. I am sure that many people will have a differing opinion, and this is good. However, my opinion will apply to the last activity that I perform while on this earth.

    I accepted years ago that when I die there is yet one more activity that I must be a part of. Popular tradition in America is for this final activity to be either burial in some form of Grave Yard or cemetery, or cremation and some form of ash disposal. I have decided that I want to be cremated.

    Burial never really excited me for lots of reasons.

    The Cost – an average Funeral with a viewing, embalming, grave side services, funeral procession, etc, costs a minimum of $9,000 plus a $2500 casket – this is a whopping $11,500 and I don’t want to have that much money left over when I die.

    Funeral Homes – I have attended a few funerals in my days and I have never enjoyed being there. After each funeral we would go to a family members home and have a far better time remembering the recently departed, telling stories that we have not heard in ages and laughing and crying together in a much more relaxed and enjoyable setting. At the funeral home we were somber and quiet, yet for no good reason other than we were in a Funeral Home.

    Open Casket – There is no way I can possibly look as good, or better than the last time you saw me. Even if you have seen me pretty messed up after a hard work out on the treadmill, falling down drunk at FNH (never) or on a seriously hot day working in the yard. So, for me, why would you want to see me laying in a casket.

    Embalming – For me, I see no good reason to have a mortician pump me full of formaldehyde, glutaraldehyde, methanol and ethanol. I will not need to be preserved for a viewing.

    Grave Yards or Cemeteries – I personally am not a fan of using up good real estate for dead bodies. Now I understand the desire for family to know where their loved ones are when they pass this world; however I think in our Flat Global world, there are plenty of places to place yourself for that Final resting place, without consuming good real estate. More on this later.

    Now, I agree that I have a very blunt and different opinion on this then most people; however here is the final activity that I would like to perform in this world.

    How I want to do it

    Knowing that I have no idea when or how I will die, I want to be cremated. I want my best friends or family to arrange this activity in the following manner:

    Contact a local Crematory and have them come get me. They can use a pickup truck or if needed use the one that I am leaving behind. No need for any fancy containers, trays or boxes. Put my body in some good old fashion Glad yard waste bags and then drop it on a pallet. Double or Triple bag if you think this is necessary.

    Take my body to the Crematory and slide it into the fire. No need cleaning out the Crematory before you put my body in there, I’m not too worried about any cross contamination or diseases. Remember, I am dead and once you fire up that cooker, the likelihood of any diseases surviving are nil.

    Run the cooker at 100% for as long as the law requires and until you are sure that my body has been returned to 100% ashes. Please, no left over logs or heavy briquettes. Fire up the cooker if needed. The ashes must be very fine.

    Once the cooker cools down, use a shovel (from the garden will be fine, no special shovel needed) and scoop up my ashes and put them into a empty 5 gallon paint bucket. If you do not have one available, check out my garage. I have a bunch in there.

    Give the bucket to one of my best friends or daughters. They will take care of my ashes from this point.

    Now, I am assuming that I will still be in North Carolina when this event starts out; however if not, then you will need to alter these next steps some. I do not want this bucket hauled more than 100 miles from where I die, but I expect that you will take it to Smith Mountain Lake at this point. If I died somewhere else, then pick another lake closer by.

    Get one of my buddies to loan you a fishing boat and boat out to the middle of the lake. No Pomp & Circumstance here – just a simple action. Dump the ashes overboard. If anyone asks, tell them you just cleaned out the barbecue grill. I repeat, no Pomp & Circumstance needed here at all. OK, maybe a picture of the ashes floating away. Use a hi-res camera.

    Now go home. The next step will take about 1 week to put together.

    Get my contact list and send an email to everyone in the list – Everyone. Exclude no one. This list includes friends, family and business associates from as far back as 1980. Invite them to the house that I expect to leave behind and tell them to bring enough simple food and drink to last them about 6 hours. Tell them what day to arrive and let them know that this will be a party.

    I expect everyone there to leave knowing something new about me that they did not know before. I don’t care what they learn, because it will by no means be anything that will tarnish anyone’s opinion of me. At least, I am fairly sure about this – Sike, I’m 100% sure of this.

    On the day that this party starts, get everyone to take a plain piece of paper and write down their name, how they know me and the title of a story about me that others may not know. They can write down something I did or said in private, public, business or family. Anything, no holds barred. Remember, my reputation will not be tarnished.

    Collect the papers and then have everyone take turns telling their stories about me. Randomly have each person tell their story. For those who are not comfortable telling the story, get one of my toastmaster buddies to do it for them. Embellish as much as you want, just don’t tell any lies. The truth will be amazing and enjoyable enough. Believe me, I know.

    I expect a few tears and some somber faces during this party, fool be me for saying that this is not allowed; however please do yourself and everyone else a favor, get thru it quickly. You’re going to ruin the party.

    This event can go on for as long as the group wants. No restrictions or expectations. It may last a few minutes, or as long as a few days. I expect that if all of the stories are to be told, it will last about 6 hours, and be unforgettable.

    When the party ends, I want everyone to remember where I am. I will be floating around in Smith Mountain Lake. I will be in the plants and trees around the lake. In the bass and stripper that are fished from the lake and then in the fish dinners eaten afterwards. I will become part of Smith Mountain Lake until the end of the time.

    That’s it folks. I expect that the total cost of this last activity will be about $1297.53, excluding the food and beer which I am sure my buddies will provide. If needed, get Becky to write you a check. I will make sure that this amount is left in my Allegacy account.

    I will gladly entertain any comments or suggestions about this plan prior to my death. Afterwards, I expect that my wishes will be granted, for the most part.

    Teddy

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Funny Thanksgiving Day Story

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    PREGNANT TURKEY

    One year at Thanksgiving, I went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, I decided to play a trick on her.

    I told my sister that she needed something else from the store and sent her down the road.

    When she left, I took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed in a very small Cornish Hen that I had hidden in the stuff I brought over to her house.

    I then re-stuffed the turkey and put the whole thing back into the oven.

    When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing.

    When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

    With a look of total shock on my face, I told my sister, “Velvet, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!”

    At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to bawl her eyes out.

    It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

    This is yet another story from Teddy Burriss – maybe, just maybe you will laugh with me.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Top 10 Worst # 1 songs according to Spike.com

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    OK – I heard this list on Rock 92 on Wednesday 10/15/08. He got the list from http://www.spike.com/blog/top-10-worst-songs/68721

    10. “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley (1988)I
    9. “Batdance” by Prince (1989)
    8. “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin (1988)
    7. “I Want It That Way” by Backstreet Boys (1999)
    6. “I’m Too Sexy” by Right Said Fred (1992)
    5. “Bad Day” by Daniel Powter (2006)
    4. “Who Let the Dogs Out?” by Baha Men (2000)
    3. “Wannabe” by Spice Girls (1997)
    2. “Macarena” by Los Del Rio (1995)
    1. “You’re Beautiful” by James Blunt (2005)

    This is yet another posting from Teddy Burriss – maybe, just maybe you will laugh with me.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • happy Valentines Day – Urgent Message

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    To all the Men who receive this – you are politely requested to forward this important message to your significant other immediately.

    I feel obliged to share this message with everyone I know, especially those in some type of a relationship, be it marriage, dating or even shacking up with someone.

    Today is February 14, 2008. In most of the country it is Valentine’s Day – the day where traditionally most men were required to show their affection for their wife and/or girl friend(s).

    Effective earlier this week the powers that be (me) have created an entirely new ruling of this Hallmark day.

    February 14 will still be referred to as Valentine’s day; however from now on this day is all about MEN!

    Let’s be honest guys, this will be difficult for most of us to handle, mainly because most of us cannot handle change well. Time will help with this transition. As the great me we are, we will support each other thru this transition.

    Similarly, there is no doubt in my mind that the women of the world will struggle accepting this as well, just as they struggle with anything that men require of them.

    However, if we all work together on this change it can work and we will be happier.

    The new requirements, (yes requirement is the correct word), is that the women of the world begin to honor, care for, cater to and most importantly abide by the word of their man more so on February 14th, than any other day of the year.

    Please do not misunderstand this requirement, we will not tolerate , (and yes tolerate is the correct word), you minimizing the way you honor, cater to and care for your man every other day.

    The requirement is that you simply “pick it up a Notch” on this particular day.

    We know you can do it, put your mind to stepping up to the plate for your man with as much energy and determination as you have when you are stalking the new pair of shoes, or that new nail polish color.

    You’re a women, you can do anything you set your mind to, especially if we support you with this new requirement.

    Consider these simple acts during this day to show your man (or men) just how much you truly care for him:

    · Help him get out of bed in the morning with a hot cup of coffee. No fu-fu creams or sugar – just pure Columbian coffee in a large man sized mug.
    · Prepare a fabulous breakfast feast for him with all of great foods like scrapple, fried eggs, biscuits, bacon, sausage and orange juice, (no cream of wheat or oatmeal ladies)
    · Warm up his car before he leaves for the work (where he will slave to provide for you and your family)
    · With no regard for your job or what you think you must do during the day, go to him during his lunch hour and bring him a lunch feast fit for a king such as a foot long Jersey Mike’s Sub, Beast sized bag of Chips or French Fries, 44 ounce Soda of his liking and a hot chocolate chip cookie big enough to choke an elephant.
    · When he returns home for the job, be in the drive way to help him clean out his car, carry his briefcase to the den, his coffee mug into the Kitchen and then scurry back to him with a huge hug of appreciation for all that he does. Escort him to his recliner and unfold his newspaper (that you should not have read yet) on his lap opening it to the section that he most likes to read first (business, comics, sports, obituaries)
    · Do not disturb him while he reads his paper and you complete cooking his final meal of the day. This meal does not need to be extra elaborate, just the basics of a great steak, steak fries and possibly a dinner roll or freshly baked bread. Do not tarnish this meal with anything as unacceptable as a vegetable or worst yet – a salad. This is to be a Man’s meal, not mommy serving dinner to the kids. (Oh, yeah – if you have kids, it is important that they be fed after your man is done. He should not be disturbed with the whining of little children during this meal.)
    · After dinner you should escort your man to his favorite chair, bring him either an ice cold beer or possibly another cup of hot coffee and then you should scurry back to the kitchen to clean up after yourself.
    · There are lots of ways that you can end this required day of celebrating your man. The requirements are quite strict in regards to this day. Remember the requirement bluntly refers to catering to and caring for your man and abiding by his word. We are all grown adults here, figure out what this means for you and make it happen.

    Again women – listen up carefully – as stated earlier, I know this will be difficult to accept; however I am quite sure that you will benefit from accepting this requirement and that you do not want to face the consequences of failing to comply.

    Thank you for hearing me and, in anticipation of complete acceptance of this new requirement by all women – thank you for conforming so eagerly and politely.

    Respectfully

    Teddy

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Civil War Emails

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    During the Civil War, President Lincoln used the Telegraph to stay in constant contact with his Generals and keep his finger on the pulse of the war.

    Both the Union and Confederate armies used the telegraph for the same purpose.

    They both used the Telegraph to “Spam” each other with false information. Misleading each other as to the progress or frailties so as to cause chaos in their opponent’s armies.

    They also tapped each other’s Telegraph lines to obtain strategic information that they hoped would provide their armies an advantage over their opponent.

    According to Tom Wheeler, the author of Mr. Lincoln’s T-Mail – the Telegraph was one of the tools that helped the Union win the Civil War.

    Based on the amount of telegrams that President Lincoln handled in his in & out box, he was quite the Early Adopter of this technology.

    President Lincoln used telegrams much as we use our Email today. Overcoming distance and time while obtaining instant information and delegating authority while maintaining over-site and ultimate authority.

    Here are two examples:

    After his great victory at Vicksburg in 1863, Maj. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant’s thoughts turned toward Mobile, Ala. But then he got a telegram from President Lincoln.

    Lincoln’s Telegram read – “I see by a telegram of yours that you are inclined quite strongly towards an expedition against Mobile. … This would appear tempting to me also, were it not that in view of recent events in Mexico, I am greatly impressed with the importance of re-establishing the national authority in Western Texas as soon as possible.”

    You see, Lincoln had already been informed by another telegram that Napoleon III had invaded Mexico, defeated the Mexican armies and set up a pro-Confederate “puppet” government in Mexico City. President Lincoln wanted a stronger Union presence in the Lone Star State to discourage the French from turning their eyes upon Texas.

    President Lincoln did not send an order to Grant by telegram. Micromanaging was not his style for dealing with Grant. He did not have to, as Grant caught his drift.

    Another example of President Lincoln’s use of the telegraph was the many messages between the President and General George McClellan.

    A brilliant engineer and highly capable organizer, George B. McClellan just wasn’t an army commander.

    He survived a Confederate counterattack at Seven Pines, principally because of confusion in the Confederate army and the gallant actions of his own subordinates.

    When General Robert E. Lee attacked him in the Seven Days in late June he made numerous mistakes, panicked and ordered dangerous movements of the troops. Most of the battles that McClellan fought here were Union successes but the overall outcome of the campaign was negative as a result of McClellan’s weaknesses.

    Once safely entrenched away from the Confederate armies he began sending telegrams to the War Department and President Lincoln, blaming them for the defeat.

    President Lincoln sent McClellan numerous telegrams asking him to take responsibility for his army, to respond faster, more precise and more deliberate.

    Finally it was decided in Washington to abandon the campaign and transfer most of McClellan’s men to John Pope’s army in northern Virginia.

    McClellan was restored to active duty when Pope was defeated at the 2nd Bull Run. He was reunited with his army and welcomed by his men who affectionately called him “Little Mac”, while the press called him “Mac the Unready” and “The Little Corporal of Unsought Fields”

    In the Maryland Campaign he advanced to confront Lee in the western part of the state and moved uncharacteristically fast when some of his command found a copy of Lee’s orders for the movement of his troops. Lee fought several delaying actions along South Mountain in order to re-concentrate his army.

    His caution returning, McClellan slowed down, and Lee was able to get most of his men in line at Antietam.

    McClellan attacked piecemeal and his attacks failed to crush Lee who was heavily outnumbered with his back to the Potomac River.

    Continuing his dilatory tactics, McClellan began sending telegrams to the War Department and President Lincoln making demands for more men, vast amounts of equipment and fresh mounts for his cavalry.

    President Lincoln continued to challenge McClellan’s demands via telegram.

    McClellan continued to delay attacking Lee with any significant force. He blamed the delay on the need for more training. President Lincoln sent telegrams challenging the need for training for an army that has been in place and succeeded in other battles.
    McClellan continued to delay, sending telegrams declaring the need for fresh mounts for his cavalry as the reason for the delay.

    Finally it was too late. JEB Stuart’s cavalry rode completely around the Union Army of the Potomac.

    President Lincoln ended his telegram conversations with McClellan with this final telegram.

    “Since you are not willing to use my Army, may I borrow it?”

    This was the telegraph message that spurred the War Department in 1862 to relinquish McClellan’s command and have him sent home in Trenton NJ to await a telegram statement for his next assignment, which never came.

    President Lincoln’s T-Mail was instrumental in the decisions made during the Civil War and the final outcomes that shaped the United States, as we know it today.

    This is yet another posting from Teddy Burriss – maybe, just maybe you will enjoy it.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • New Technology

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    Back in the mid 1980’s my Grandpa worked day & night farming his 1100 Acre Farm using the old FarmAll M Tractor he bought 25 years ago.
    Grandma always complained that he came home way too late every night.
    Grandpa grumbled back at Grandma – “Back off old woman – it’s a big farm and the Old FarmAll M can only go so fast”
    Now this slick young tractor salesman told Grandpa to buy a new fancy-dan tractor
    Grandpa kept saying – “This old FarmAll M is running fine. It hasn’t missed a beat ever in the past 25 years, I don’t need to replace it.”
    The Tractor salesman kept after my Grandpa to buy the new tractor.
    “Old Man Smith bought one a few months ago and he loves it. He’s off his farm every night long time before you get done. He keeps telling me it has changed his life. He says he is having a blast every afternoon now.”
    One day Grandpa gave in and decided that it was time to retire the old tractor in the barn with the old Sickles, Pitch-Forks and Milk Jugs. “Yep – I need to retire her before she stops working. I’ll buy your Fancy-Dan Tractor now.”
    It took just a few hours for my Grandpa to get used to the new Fancy-Dan Tractor. He was hooked.
    It was faster, and pulled larger plows across the big old Fields.
    What used to take 12 hours to get done before with the FarmAll Tractor – he got done in 8 hours.

    Now – let me offer you two possible endings to this story. One being fully fictional, the other being the truth.

    Here is one of the possible endings:

    The first day that my Grandpa got done early he decided to go home early and surprise my Grandma.
    He drove up to the farm house and saw an unfamiliar pickup truck in the driveway.
    My Grandpa turned off the engine and coasted up close to the house and walked into the house.
    There in the living room was my Grandma and Old Man Smith – fooling around on the sofa.It seems that Old Man Smith figured out a way to get value out of the New Fancy-Dan equipment long before my Grandpa did.
    I’m not going to tell you any more about this ending – it did not end well at all for Old Man Smith, my Grandpa or my Grandma.

    Or another possible ending:

    The first day that my Grandpa got done early he decided to go home early and surprise my Grandma.
    There on the front porch was Grandma, snapping beans and preparing a full supper for Grandpa.
    She was so surprised to see him early that she was overcome with excitement.
    Grandpa told her to go get her “going out into public dress” on and he took her out to dinner and a picture show at the movie house.
    All because Grandpa decided to upgrade to new technology and get value out of new equipment that his old equipment could not provide.
    I’m not going to tell you any more about that evening other than to share with you that Grandpa & GrandMa had a great time from then on, snapping beans together.

    The moral of this story is really quite simple.

    Just because it still runs doesn’t mean you should keep using it.
    If you can buy a new tractor and get the work done faster and better – do it.

    I told this speech at a business event and related it to othe business I work for. I ended my speech with the following comments:

    You should always consider upgrading to new technology because of the potential for real meaningful value in efficiency, new processes & performance.
    And, it’s important to make sure that you use the efficiency, new processes and performance to improve other areas of your business so that you continue to get more value.

    And – Don’t waste away the value new technology can provide your business on frivolous benefits like Old Man Smith did – Use the added value to continue improving your business.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Anew For You!

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    Happy New Year – I wish prosperity and happiness for you. I wish for you – “Anew for You”.

    Now don’t get alarmed – I’m not going to get religious, radical or right winged political. “Anew for You” is not a radical or drastic thing. It must be simple for it to be beneficial.

    “Anew for You” is not something that has to be complete or all encompassing and does not have to rock the world around you or affect your loved ones and business associates a lot. No “Anew for You” simple refers to something new – for you and about you. And, it’s all about your words, actions, attitudes & thoughts.

    Here are some examples of areas where “Anew for You” has helped me – Maybe you will see a parallel for your self.

    Words – My career lives and dies on what I say and how I say it.
    Here is an example of what I believe are the wrong words – “It was great to talk to you”
    I chose in the middle of this year to start using these words – “It was great to talk with you.”
    Can you see the difference and how talking with someone can be much more powerful than just talking to them? I believe that people respond differently once they know that I want to talk with them rather than talk to them. Because of this I believe I have been more successful creating great business relationships.

    Actions – I worked for a guy for many years and early on in this job I heard him say to one of our Executive Managers – “Do what you say you are going to do.” A few months later we were meeting with some of the front line minimum wage workers and he told them to “Do what you say you are going to do.”
    This stuck with me every since then. I saw employees fail and customer relationships falter because of people not realizing the importance of this saying. I am a firm believer that you are judged by your actions and if you say you are going to do something – you better follow thru. I strive to always “Do what I say I am going to do.”

    Attitudes – Yes I am harassed day in and day out for my “I’m Un-Believably Fantastic & Hovering Near Ecstasy” statement (Note – the full statement can be found at http://teddyburriss.blogspot.com. For me this is how I present ME to myself and the public. It is who I am and how I strive to feel every day. No – It’s not always 100% true – but it is 100% true that this is how I strive to be. I know that people react differently toward me if they know that I am in a great mood. Heck – who wants to hang out with someone who is “getting by”, “just making it” or “Not doing too bad.”

    Thoughts – You are what you think.
    Years ago I read the book The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale and learned a lot.
    Abe Lincoln said – “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”
    I decided years ago to strive to think Positive in as many aspects of my life as possible. It makes a difference for me. Thinking Positively goes hand in hand with my Un-Believably Fantastic Mantra

    “Anew for You” does not require that you change all of your words, Actions, Attitudes and thoughts. “Anew for You” could be simply changing one item about you that is related to one of these areas.

    Try it – Test how “Anew for You” in any one of these areas benefits you over the next year. If it helps – try another area of “Anew For You” and You will continue to Anew Yourself.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • The Premier Publishing of the Official Teddy Burriss Mantras

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    I am doing Unbelievably Fantastic and Hovering near Ecstasy. Right now this attitude is not Chemically Induced; however it can be later on.

    I wish you a great day and fabulous success at everything you do.

    It is an honor, a privilege and ever so exciting for you to meet me today!

    You are welcome for everything you have.

    Anyone you can, anytime you can, and for those who can’t handle it – do it again!

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Great Billy Graham Story

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    I am not a Billy Graham fanatic – however this is a pretty good story.

    Billy Graham is now 86 years old with Parkinson’s disease.

    In January 2000, leaders in Charlotte, North Carolina, invited their
    favorite son, Billy Graham, to a luncheon in his honor.

    Billy initially hesitated to accept the invitation because he struggles
    with Parkinson’s disease. But the Charlotte leaders said, “We don’t
    expect a major address. Just come and let us honor you.” So he agreed.

    After wonderful things were said about him, Dr. Graham stepped to the
    rostrum, looked at the crowd, and said, “I’m reminded today of Albert
    Einstein, the great physicist who this month has been honored by Time
    magazine as the Man of the Century.

    Einstein was once traveling from Princeton on a train when the conductor
    came down the aisle, punching the tickets of every passenger. When he
    came to Einstein, Einstein reached in his vest pocket. He couldn’t find
    his ticket, so he reached in his trouser pockets. It wasn’t there, so
    he looked in his briefcase but couldn’t find it Then he looked in the
    seat beside him. He still couldn’t find it.

    The conductor said, “Dr. Einstein, I know who you are. We all know who
    you are. I’m sure you bought a ticket.
    Don’t worry about it.”

    Einstein nodded appreciatively. The conductor continued down the aisle
    punching tickets. As he was ready to move to the next car, he turned
    around and saw the great physicist down on his hands and knees looking
    under his seat for his ticket.

    The conductor rushed back and said, “Dr. Einstein, Dr. Einstein, don’t
    worry, I know who you are. No problem. You don’t need a ticket. I’m
    sure you bought one.”

    Einstein looked at him and said, “Young man, I too, know who I am. What
    I don’t know is where I’m going.’”

    Having said that Billy Graham continued, “See the suit I’m wearing? It’s
    a brand new suit. My wife, my children, and my grandchildren are
    telling me I’ve gotten a little slovenly in my old age. I used to be a
    bit more fastidious. So I went out and bought a new suit for this
    luncheon and one more occasion.

    You know what that occasion is? This is the suit in which I’ll be
    buried. But when you hear I’m dead, I don’t want you to immediately
    remember the suit I’m wearing. I want you to remember this:

    I not only know who I am .. I also know where I’m going.”

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Wedding Crashers

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    In June 2005 Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson starred in a Movie titled “Wedding Crashers”.

    It was about 2 guys who showed up at weddings of people they don’t know.

    The wedding crashing activities went much farther – but I won’t tell you more so that I don’t spoil the plot for anyone who has not seen the movie and wants to.

    In May of 2006 (now) Wedding Crashers is all about the many trials and tribulations that are threatening the happiness and excitement of planning and producing my daughter’s wedding.

    Our Wedding Crashers are numerous and non-relenting. They come at us from all directions.

    I may be able to write a book about this – How to create a “Crash Proof Wedding”

    I have already started listing some of the chapter titles – They include:

    Picking the Right Day – Now some of you may think this is not a big deal, except that you need to be careful that the day is not a sacred day for either family – such as the day the favorite great great grand mother died, or the day the family parakeet flew away.

    It’s also important to make sure that the weeks leading up to the big event are clear as well so that the rehearsal dinner is not the same night as the Canadian Professional Rodeo or the Monster Truck rally in Quincey Ill – these are important events for some people.

    Invitation Lists – Be careful – this can create fights.

    It’s important to talk thru who gets invited and who shouldn’t.

    You have to set a number and try to stick to it.

    1st cousins, 2nd cousins, Aunts Uncles, High School Sweet Hearts (maybe not), college Drinking buddies (please).

    How about co-workers, the land-lord and the sweet old couple down the hill who go no-where with out their dogs?

    What to you do when the list is greater than the number you said you would stick to. What do you do when the list is 500 people and you only want to have a party for 100? This is going to be tough.

    Who gets wacked off the list first?

    Work Friends, college drinking buddies, (Please?), neighbors, high school sweet hearts (I didn’t put her name on the list), aunts, uncles, sisters, brothers, your mother, my mother?

    Here is another chapter for the book – RSVP’s – Nothing can crash a wedding faster then the RSVP’s when they start coming in fast & furious and the number starts to climb over your magic invite number.

    What do you do when a guests RSVPs with a 5 in the “will attend box” where you expected a Check mark.

    Especially when the response was from the widowed great-great Aunt who lives by herself in an Assisted Living Center.

    Some other chapters will be about:

    How to handle an absent minded Photographer & insure that he shows up on time with a camera and film – at the right place

    What to do when you schedule a quartet for the reception and 1 week before the event you get a voice mail message saying that 3 of the performers will be out of the country and the 4th person is now a soloist and she wants the same pay we agreed to for a quartet.
    How to handle 5 brides maids when their dresses show up and none of them fit – At all – not even close.

    How to convince your mother-in-law to be that the wedding cake can’t be made with Rum

    How to deal with a bride who decides at the last minute that she wants this somewhat nice looking flower from Africa that she saw on National Geographic special the night before.

    How to convince Uncle Smitty twice removed that he should not sit next to Aunt Mary so that he can win her back a third time.

    Another chapter will be on dealing with an insect infestation that threatens having a special type of imported lace for the wedding veil and possibly jail time as well.

    Being a Professional Project Manager – I shared my wisdom repeatedly with my wife and daughter.

    “Megan”, I would say – “ you have to do three things well to keep this wedding from crashing”

    Plan, Plan and ask your mother for help quickly when they start to fail.

    I also coached Megan with finding the right words when she wanted to convince her mother not to wear a neon orange dress. I told her – “it’s all in the words Megan, it’s all in the words”.

    While working on protecting the Wedding from Crashing – I told Megan that it would be important for her to think on her feet and to be able to speak her mind on the fly.

    Especially when she went to her Great-Great Aunt Burly’s apartment to tell her that she can not bring “Fluffy” the cat to the wedding.

    “When Aunt Burly asks you why – you’ve got 2 minutes to tell her exactly why and then you have to get out of there. Otherwise she will snooker you into giving her a foot message – believe me – I’ve been there before – It’s not a good sight.

    As Megan plans for the rehearsal dinner, the wedding ceremony, and the reception she knows that there will be plenty of people who will want to speak. There will be people who stay on the subject and then there would be people who just will not know when to stop.

    The Vows
    The “Who gives this women to be wed” thingy – I think this is my part – I wonder if I get 2 minutes?
    The “if any one knows why these two should not be wed – speak now or forever hold your peace” – hopefully Uncle Smitty won’t here this one.
    The Toast at the reception
    The dinner prayer
    The best man speech
    The Maid of Honor speech
    & Other seemingly important words of advice and happiness

    In hindsight – I wish that I had invited all of the potential speakers to our Improved Communications class.
    Fortunately – I will bring the timer and timer lights. My contribution to the happy couple.

    As the happy day of my daughter’s weeding grows closer – I regularly ask myself – “How could we do this better? How can we make this wedding more Crash Resistant?” – Sort of internal evaluations.
    Now – I have to do this internally because every time I bring up an idea or I evaluate something that my wife and daughter are planning all I get is “HUSH”

    See – She did not like my suggestion that we fax & email invitations to keep the cost down (& maybe the attendance)

    She did not like my recommendation that we not go to Twin Cities Chop house, but instead use Pig Pikens or Little Richards – to show the true Southern Culture.
    She definitely did not like my suggestion that we print the wrong date on the invitations that we send to her family and especially Uncle Smitty & Great Great Aunt Mable (with Fluffy)

    I’m sure it had something to do with the way I delivered my evaluations.

    Being a part of Northwestern Toastmaster’s is a great experience for me. Learning to communicate my opinions clearly has made me a better person.

    Being the father of the bride has also taught me a lot – It reaffirms what I have learned from the education my wife has been providing me for over 29 years now.

    I have learned from this experience that the wedding will not Crash – no matter what. It may be different from what you originally thought, it may have some exciting moments and even some challenging ones. In the end – it will happen, it will have lots of fun moments and it will be a treasured memory.

    My wife keeps telling me – “It will not Crash” – now HUSH!

    This is yet another story from Teddy Burriss – maybe, just maybe you will laugh with me.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Take the Terror out of Public Speaking

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    Your voice waivers, your knees quiver, your pulse is increasing fast.
    Your heart feels like it’s going to jump up and out of your throat
    Your palms are sweaty and you may actually feel sweat on your forehead.
    Your mind is struggling with what words to put out first.

    No – it’s not Love – that’s another story. You are suffering from Speech Anxiety or what we refer to as – The Fear of Public speaking.

    Mr. Toastmaster, fellow toastmasters and guests. I may not be able to help you handle the fear of falling in love – but I believe I can help you with Taking the Terror out of Speaking.

    It’s a common thing for both the experienced and the novice speakers.
    The difference is that experienced speakers know ways to control the symptoms and can appear to be confident in front of an audience.

    Today I will address some of the causes of Speech Anxiety and methods you can use to manage it.

    Do you recall the first day of school, a first date or the first day at a new job? These are similar situations in that you may not know what to expect and this causes nervousness.

    At school and at the new job – you may have been afraid that you would fail

    On the first date – a lot of things could go wrong and you may have feared being humiliated.

    People fear public speaking because it is new to them, and some people fear that they may appear foolish or bore the audience.

    Stage fright, butterflies in the stomach and the shakes are all symptoms of nervous energy that Public Speaking can create.

    Our bodies fight this nervous energy by pumping more adrenalin into our blood stream. The adrenalin causes the heart to pump harder. The extra blood and oxygen rush to our muscles and brain. This “RUSH” is natural and provides the “extra energy” that can enable you to think and respond quickly.

    Until you get more experience with public speaking – you may not know how to harness this energy. As soon as you notice these symptoms – use them as a psychological indicator that “you are ready to give a speech” and you will think clearer and quicker.

    Stage fright is directly associated with the way we perceive a situation. You will need to take steps toward changing the perception that giving a speech is a fearful situation.

    The big question is how do we do this?
    There are three proven methods of doing this:

    1) Experience
    2) Mental Rehearsal
    3) Relaxation Techniques

    Experience – Lots of studies show that the best method for reducing anxiety is to practice speaking in front of an audience. The more you speak in front of an audience, your confidence will increase and your fear will decrease.

    After a few speeches you will begin to put your anxiety into perspective.
    You will realize that the audience is not armed, hostile or bored.
    You will realize that you probably do not make a fool out of yourself.
    You will also realize that if you stumble, miss a word or make other small mistakes you will be forgiven.

    How do you gain Experience?
    Join Toastmasters. At Toastmasters we will give you opportunities to speak and evaluate your speaking skills in a non-threatening environment.

    Speak in front of your community, school, church, clubs, and/or at work any time you can.

    Mental Rehearsal – Another method of controlling speech anxiety is mental rehearsal. Your thought processes can cause physiological changes, which affect performance. Mental Rehearsal helps you to use your thought processes to achieve positive results.
    Research shows that vividly imagined events are actually recorded by the brain as memories. The mind cannot distinguish these events from actual physical events.

    Have you ever thought – “Did I dream this, or did it actually happen?”

    If you vividly imagine yourself delivering a successful and effective speech your mind will experience this as if it actually happened.

    Once you have a few of these mentally rehearsed speeches in your library of experience – the likelihood of actually presenting a successful speech increases.

    How do you mentally rehearse a speech?
    Close your eyes; imagine that you are being introduced to an audience.

    Visualize yourself walking up to a lectern with confidence as you smile back to the audience.

    Breathe deeply several times before you start your speech.

    Then picture yourself speaking clearly and forcefully, remembering all of the points that you want to make.

    Visualize your audience being captivated by your words, your gestures and your use of vocal variety.

    When you are finished, imagine your audience applauding in appreciation as you leave the lectern.

    Now repeat this rehearsal again and again in your mind, each time notice how your confidence increases and the terror of speaking decreases.

    Relaxation Techniques – Even with ample speaking experiences and the use of mental rehearsals – tension can still build up before you give a speech. Don’t worry – Relaxation and breathing techniques can help with this.

    Isometric exercises reduce stress by increasing circulation and the flow of oxygen to the brain. You can perform these exercises discreetly in a crowded room.

    Focus your attention on the muscles that feel tense. Tighten or flex these muscles for a few seconds – then release them. Systematically do the same for other major muscle groups – start with your toes and move upwards across as many muscles as possible all the way thru your facial muscles.

    If you have the luxury of a little privacy before speaking – you can do other exercises to relax as well.

    Stand up, stretch to the ceiling and take a deep breath and exhale as you bend and touch your toes (or reach down as far as you can). Repeat this several times.

    Hold your arms out to the sides, parallel to the floor and rotate them in circles forward 10 times and then backwards 10 times
    Drop your head to your chest, rolling it the right, backwards, then to the left.
    Repeat this several times and then reverse the flow.

    Reducing tension is important prior to a speech.

    Nervousness often causes shortness of breath. Breathing from the diaphragm can help. When you inhale, make sure that the diaphragm and stomach, not the chest, are expanding. A trick you can use to learn to breath correctly – lie on your back with a book on your stomach. Take a deep breath. Your stomach should expand, causing the book to rise. When you exhale – the book should fall as well.

    Even with all of the experience, mental rehearsals and relaxation techniques – you may still feel nervous and uneasy before your presentation. This is normal. You need the adrenalin flowing to help you speak with energy and enthusiasm.

    Your audience will not notice managed nervousness. Audiences can be unaware of many of the small things that you may feel are embarrassing.

    If you walk to the lectern with confidence and if you deliver a effective speech, the audience will not know that your palms are sweaty or that your heart is pounding out of your chest.

    The next time you are to give a speech and you heart is beating hard and fast, the butterflies are bouncing around in your stomach and your knees are quivering as your palms begin to sweat – take control

    Turn your nervousness into positive energy using some of the methods that we just discussed.

    Your audience will be impressed with your confidence and listen to every word you say.

    Remember – practicing, using Mental Rehearsal and relaxation techniques will help you to “Take the terror out of a talk”.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Public Restrooms

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    Even when you are in a public building, there are specific areas that are private where you want to be left alone. Public restrooms are such a place.

    Recently a friend of mine (we’ll call him Bob for the sake of protecting the innocent) told me a story of his trip to a public restroom.

    Let me set the scene for the story. It’s a coffee shop with a single “holer” men’s room. This is a restroom with a single toilet, commode or porcelain fixture – what ever you want to call it. A fairly clean restroom with a solid door and a functional and secure lock.

    On this particular day Bob was traveling across the state of North Carolina going from the Eastern part of Raleigh to the Western mountain areas. He had left his house at around 6am that morning. Before getting on the highway Bob stopped at the gas station mini-mart and got his first cup of coffee of the morning. This cup of coffee lasted about 45 miles before it was nearly gone and cold. Knowing that he had another 50 miles to go Bob wanted another cup of coffee.

    He drove his car off an exit ramp and down a side street into a shopping area just off of the highway. Right in front of him was a small coffee shop. Bob pulled his car into the parking lot, placed the transmission in Park, turned off the engine and got out.

    Bob walked across the parking lot, down the sidewalk and toward the shop excited about getting another cup of hot bold coffee. However, having just finished the original cup of mini-mart coffee, Bob knew that the restroom would be a good place to go first.

    Bob walked thru the coffee shop using his keen powers of observation to locate the restrooms. Having a gut feel that one of the corners of the room would be a good place for the restrooms and then seeing the sign, he quickly figured out which way to go. He followed the arrow of the sign and walked directly toward the corner where the restrooms are located. Facing the large wooden door of the restroom, he grasped the handle and slowly opened it, peering thru the slowly expanding gap between the jam and the moving door to determine if anyone else was in the room before he entered. There was no one else in the room. Bob, like many of us would be, felt relieved to find the room empty. Opening the door of a single holer that is occupied can be embarrassing if not traumatic depending on the actual view and the duration of the view when you open the door.

    I remember learning the hard way to open the door slowly when I was younger. I busted into a single hole restroom in a shopping center to find a little old lady sitting on the toilet, panty hose and skirt down around her ankles. “I’ll be done in a minute” is all she said to me as I hastily turned around and exited the room, red faced and hurriedly barking out, “I’m so sorry, Please excuse me!”

    Bob walked into the room, locking the door and then pulling and twisting the handle to insure that it was actually locked and secure before turning and walking over to the toilet.

    Now, as Bob faced the toilet he realized that his body was now telling him to use the facilities for a little more than he initially planned. OK, a lot more. The newly determined task at hand required that he take a seat rather than stand and face the toilet.

    Men are generally not eager to sit on a public toilet. There are so many restrooms in public places that are not managed or cleaned to anyone’s standards. Fortunately most good coffee shop restrooms are managed well and kept fairly clean. Just the same, having to sit on a public toilet requires that you examine the seat and in many cases cleaning of the seat with wet paper towels and then drying it off. Bob examined the seat and felt good with a quick paper towel cleaning action.

    Bob removed his belt, loosened his pants and sat on the toilet. He set his mind on the task at hand, blocking out the noises from the coffee shop hoping to get thru the task in a reasonable amount of time.

    Suddenly he heard someone shaking the door and twisting the handle in an attempt to enter the room. Fortunately the secure lock held as expected.

    “Occupied” is the only word that Bob felt he had to utter as he continued working on the task at hand.

    The doorknob rattled again and the door actually moved ever so slightly as someone outside of the room tried again to convince the door to open.

    Bob uttered, “Occupied right now”, and believing that this would be enough information to convince the person trying to get in to wait until he was done, he again went back to paying attention to the task he now wanted to quickly complete.

    The door again rattled, this time a little louder and for a few more seconds than before. There then came a fast and firm rapping on the door from what sounded like a large fist.

    This time Bob refrained from uttering anything, instead applying more attention and energy to the task that he now urgently wanted to complete – Now.

    As he completely finished the task on the toilet, he stood, reached down for his pants and pulled them up.

    The rattling continued and the banging intensified.

    “Please – one minute and I’ll be done”, shouted Bob, now somewhat perturbed.

    Bob fastened his belt and turned to the sink to wash up. He appropriately washed his hands with soapy hot water, grasped a handful of paper towels and dried his hands as he walked toward the door. He tossed the paper towels into the trash can as he turned the lock toward Unlock.

    Being a little upset at being continually disturbed during his restroom task, Bob yanked open the door expecting to look into the face of the somewhat rude person on the other side of the door.

    He looked out the doorway and immediately saw – No one.

    “Excuse me” were the words from the less than 3 ft tall little boy that Bob finally saw once he looked down. “I really have to go bad,” continued the little guy as he scurried past Bob and into the restroom. Bob moved for him. The door shut and the lock clicked behind the little boy.
    Bob stood there, outside of the restroom thinking which was worse. Listening to the door rattle while using the restroom or rattling the door hoping that it would open faster so that you can get in and do what you need to do.

    Bob figured it out – Having to do “go really bad” is worse then “going” and having to listen to someone who has to “go really bad”.

    Bob headed over to the barrister and got his cup of hot bold coffee. He left the coffee shop hoping the little guy was OK.

    This is yet another story from Teddy Burriss – maybe, just maybe you will laugh with me.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Resolve to Renew

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    Resolve to Renew

    The History of New Year’s Resolutions

    The tradition of the New Year’s Resolutions goes all the way back to 153 B.C.

    Janus, a mythical king of early Rome was placed at the head of the calendar.

    Janus became the ancient symbol for resolutions and many Romans looked for forgiveness from their enemies and also exchanged gifts before the beginning of each year.

    The Romans named the first month of the year after Janus, the god of beginnings and the guardian of doors and entrances.

    He was always depicted with two faces, one on the front of his head and one on the back.

    Thus he could look backward and forward at the same time.

    At midnight on December 31, the Romans imagined Janus looking back at the old year and forward to the new.

    The Romans began a tradition of exchanging gifts on New Year’s Eve by giving one another branches from sacred trees for good fortune.

    Later, nuts or coins imprinted with the god Janus became more common New Year’s gifts.

    In the Middle Ages, Christians changed New Year’s Day to December 25, the birth of Jesus.

    Then they changed it to March 25, a holiday called the Annunciation.

    In the sixteenth century, Pope Gregory XIII revised the Julian calendar, and the celebration of the New Year was returned to January 1.

    Global Good Luck Traditions

    Yes, I know we are 3 days into our New Year; however here are some of the good luck rituals from around the world.

    They are believed to bring good fortune and prosperity in the coming year.

    AUSTRIA – The suckling pig is the symbol for good luck for the New Year. It’s served on a table decorated with tiny edible pigs. Dessert often consists of green peppermint ice cream in the shape of a four-leaf clover.

    WALES – At the first toll of midnight, the back door is opened and then shut to release the old year and lock out all of its bad luck. Then at the twelfth stroke of the clock, the front door is opened and the New Year is welcomed with all of its luck.

    SICILY – An old Sicilian tradition says good luck will come to those who eat lasagna on New Year’s Day, but woe if you dine on macaroni, for any other noodle will bring bad luck.

    SPAIN – In Spain, when the clock strikes midnight, the Spanish eat 12 grapes, one with every toll, to bring good luck for the 12 months ahead.

    PERU – The Peruvian New Year’s custom is a spin on the Spanish tradition of eating 12 grapes at the turn of the year. But in Peru, a 13th grape must be eaten to assure good luck.

    GREECE – A Special New Year’s bread is baked with a coin buried in the dough. The first slice is for the Christ child; the second for the father of the household and the third slice is for the house. If the third slice holds the coin, spring will come early that year.

    CHINA – For the Chinese New Year, every front door is adorned with a fresh coat of red paint, red being a symbol of good luck and happiness. Although the whole family prepares a feast for the New Year, all knives are put away for 24 hours to keep anyone from cutting themselves, which is thought to cut the family’s good luck for the next year.

    UNITED STATES – The kiss shared at the stroke of midnight in the United States is derived from masked balls that have been common throughout history. As tradition has it, the masks symbolize evil spirits from the old year and the kiss is the purification into the New Year.

    NORWAY – Norwegians make rice pudding at New Year’s and hide one whole almond within. Guaranteed wealth goes to the person whose serving holds the lucky almond.

    Top 10 Most Common New Year Resolutions
    1. Lose weight
    2. Stop smoking
    3. Stick to a budget
    4. Save or earn more money
    5. Find a better job
    6. Become more organized
    7. Exercise more
    8. Be more patient at work/with others
    9. Eat better
    10. Become a better person

    Most of these Resolutions target some form of Renewal – Renew Health, financial stability, career, relationships, and better life styles.

    I believe that more practical Resolutions to Renew include –

    Renewed Personal and Professional Goals that complement and support each other

    Renewed Excitement and Enthusiasm targeting what’s important in your life

    Renewed relationships with friends and family by re-introducing yourself to these people and their changing personalities, goals and dreams

    Resolving to Renew can only occur if we apply four basic guidelines to our efforts

    Focus: One Resolution at a time – Don’t loose focus of the task or the reason you made the Resolution

    Being Accountable to the task – Tell a friend about your desires and ask them to help you keep track of your plan and actions

    Persistence – Never stop working toward your resolutions – To use the edict of a professional friend of ours – Never – Never – Never Quit

    Personal Integrity – is key to your success – Do what you say you are going to do. Do not idly or cavalierly proclaim you are going to resolve anything unless you are going to commit to the daily actions and review of your progress.

    Resolving to renew our selves should be a part of our regular planning and review of our lives.

    We should review our resolutions thru out the year rather than just on New Years day.

    A continual resolution to renew is more apt to be successful vs. the traditional flash resolutions of the New Year.

    As toastmasters I feel that we should also regularly resolve to renew our goals and desires that brought us to this Toastmasters club.
    Renew your goals to achieve a new Toastmaster level of Leadership or communications skills

    Renew your commitment to be an active part of your club thru involvement in club activities and leadership roles

    Renew your support of your club members.

    Have you done this recently?

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Adsense starting today

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    OK – today I talked to a guy who does community web sites and he told me that Adsense was paying for his “hobby”. He suggested that I try it on my blog.

    OK – I signed up for an account, added it to my blog template and am now sitting back waiting for my bank to call me with the good news.

    .

    .

    It has been 3 hours now and no word from the bank.

    I’ll check with them tomorrow.

    OK – maybe I know that I am being un-real.

    I’ll start putting more interesting and frequent posts to my site and check back in with the bank in about 3 or 4 months.

    I’ll let you know what happens. If I get the yacht – maybe I’ll stop posting to this blog.

    Have a great night

    Teddy

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Going Beyond Our Club – Practice makes Perfect

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    “Practice Makes Perfect”

    Our teachers, coaches & parents preached this to us when we were young
    Ask any pianist, basketball or football player & they will empathically agree with this mantra

    Then it only makes sense that the more we practice our Toastmaster skills, the better we can get at public speaking and leadership.

    Every interaction you have – be it talking to your boss, a peer, the waiter at the restaurant, or your daughter’s assistant principal who mailed you the detention report that your daughter forgot to give you – are all opportunities to practice & improve your speaking & leadership skills.

    Beyond the everyday interactions – there are other ways to improve your skills

    There are a variety of Toastmaster events outside of our own club designed to stretch your speaking skills & hone your leadership abilities.

    If you are new to Toastmasters – you may not know about the series of contest we have each year.

    Now granted – not everyone is excited about competing in a “Contest”

    To some the fear of not winning or of being “beat” by a better competitor can be overwhelming.

    Even if contests are a prominent aspect of Toastmasters – the most important competition is always – Your against your own abilities.

    Competing against your own previous skill levels is the greatest value.

    Another key value to our contests is the opportunity to meet & hear other Toastmasters with different skills and talents.

    There are many different competitions where you can compete against yourself and with other competitors:

    Table Topics Contests
    Evaluation Contests
    Tall Tale Contests
    Humorous Speech Contests
    International Speech Contests

    Most of these contests start in our Area and continue on to the Division and then District Level
    Some contests go on to the Regional level and then to the International Contest at the annual Toastmasters Convention in August – where contestants compete for the

    “World Champion of Public Speaking”

    The contests offer many chances to participate beyond being a contestant.

    Emcee or Toastmaster of the Contest where you get to manage the flow of the event and introduce the speakers and other participants

    Judge – Many contests require the assistance of a Chief Judge and the individual judges. This keeps the competition both fair and impartial

    Vote Counters are needed in all contests

    Timers – Every contest needs participants to operate the stop watches and timer lights

    Sergeants at Arms – Many of the contests need the assistance of a Sergeant at Arms to escort contestants and audience members in and out of the contest room at the appropriate times

    And then

    Audience members – every Toastmaster event requires an audience. The audience members reaction to speeches and the contestants are another measure of the improving skills of speakers and presenters

    No matter what contest role you decide to take – participating allows you to learn by observation, meet other talented toastmasters and – oh yeah – have fun

    Your leadership and speaking skills can be further improved by participating in many different levels in the Toastmaster International organization.

    Area Level – where multiple clubs are overseen by the Area Governor and a volunteers working on committees

    Division Level – Division officers are the link between the Areas and Districts – in some cases providing assistance building and rebuilding clubs.

    District Level – There are normally 50 clubs or more in a District. District level leaders work with the clubs, communities and even business leaders outside of Toastmaster to build new clubs and help existing clubs grow membership. There are numerous District level officers – District Governor, Lieutenant Governors of Education, Marketing, Public Relations and Treasurer are just a few.

    Board of Directors – This is not that far fetched of a leadership role – every Director was once just like you – a new Toastmaster working thru the Communications and Leadership Manual and taking on leadership roles in their club.

    Conference leaders – Our conferences need the help of numerous committee members related to registration, hospitality and facility setup. These roles can be challenging and therefore skill building and then rewarding.

    During the Conferences your speaking skills and leadership abilities can benefit from being a presenter of an Educational Seminar, a Speech Contest and by spending time with other Toastmaster Comrades.

    Now as a newcomer you may feel that all of these choices and opportunities are overwhelming – I assure you that as you work your way thru your first manual – you will see the advantages of increasing your involvement in numerous Toastmaster International events and activities.

    Congratulations to each of you – Your participation at our Club Level is the first key step to improving your speaking and leadership skills.

    Increasing your involvement in Toastmaster International Activities beyond our Club will open you up to endless possibilities to fuel the Mantra

    “Practice making Perfect”

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • The Best Hamburger Ever!

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    MacDonald’s have the Big Mac & Quarter Pounders

    Wendy’s has the famous Square Hamburgers

    Burger King has the Whopper & Jr Whopper

    Hardies has The Thick Burger & Fuddruckers has 1/3, /12, & 1 Pound hamburgers

    Mr. Toastmaster, Fellow Toastmasters and guests – This story is about how I discovered the best Hamburger ever made.

    The year was 1970. The same year that Jimi Hendrix & Janis Joplin died, the start of Monday Night Football with Frank Gifford & Howard Cosell and the Beatles broke up.

    I weighed less than 100 pounds, had an acne problem but a full head of beautiful blonde hair

    My family lived in the middle of 1100 acres of rolling hills with fishing ponds and a long winding cool clear stream coming out of Sugar Loaf Mountain in rural Maryland.

    There were 14 children and a mother and father in an old drafty, but stately farm house with 5 bedrooms and one bath. The kitchen was the largest room in the house with a giant stone fireplace and huge handmade table big enough for all of us to eat together every night.
    We lived a simple life – with just enough money to buy the essentials. We made up for the lack of money by raising our own vegetables and livestock.

    Every year we planted leaf lettuce, tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, squash and numerous other vegetables and herbs.

    My Dad would use the large powerful and noisy farm tractors to prepare the rich fertile soil in the gardens. Then we would all pitch in and plant the various seeds by hand.
    Over the next few months we would water and tend to the growing plants like a new mother to her baby. We pulled weeds, sprayed for bugs and chased away the many varmints that strived to attach our young nimble vegetable plants.
    The long rows of tall green stalks of corn seemed to go on forever as they reaching to the heavens for the sun and grew roots deeper and deeper in the ground searching for nutrients for growth.

    The long dark green tomato vines spread out across the fertile ground soaking up the sun and water soon to be full of lush firm red tomatoes. The leaves of these plants seemed to wave to us each time we entered the garden to tend to them.

    The nearly perfectly straight lines of leaf lettuce fluttered in the breeze as they to soaked up the water out of the grown as the sun glistened off the morning due on the leaves.

    The livestock we raised included chickens, turkeys, pigs and cattle. Every morning as we walked up to the stable areas we could hear and smell the livestock. Each of these animals knew our schedule so well that they were rarely not standing near the feed troughs as we arrived to feed them.

    My favorite animal was the Holstein beef cattle. These black and white animals, looking somewhat like an oversized zebra are a bulky, yet sturdy and a friendly animal. They roam peacefully and slowly around the fields of green grass all day long. More often than not you would find the herd down by the pond of clear water or grazing near the creek.

    In the summer months we provided the cattle with Alfalfa Hay that we harvested and baled off of the farm. We also fed them some of the best oats that could be purchased from the local Southern States farm supply store. This combination made for a very healthy and large animal.

    Now in the spring and thru the summer months we all pitched in to tend to the garden and the livestock. We knew that caring for the farm that would provide for us later on was very important.

    In the late summer months we started to pick the many ripening vegetables. Our garden always provided a nearly endless supply of firm ripe bright red tomatoes, large solid flavorful onions, baskets and baskets of dark green leaf lettuce and more sweet corn than you could ever imagine.

    About the same time that we were picking the vegetables some of the cattle reached the right size for them to be shipped off to the local butcher.

    My brothers Nelson and Fred helped my Dad and I round up two of the cattle and load them into the back of the old farm truck. We would then climb up into the cab and take a bouncy ride into town to the local butcher.

    We helped unload the cattle and then stood back and watched as they walked into the back door of the building. Within minutes we would hear that sound of the nail gun which our Dad told us would be the instance when the cattle would die painlessly, yet permanently. Dad knew that this was a traumatic event for his young’uns.

    “Boys,” Dad called to us, “Let’s go around and tell them how to cut up the beef.” Dad led us around this room and into the cool area of the meat locker where we told the butcher that we wanted lots of ground beef and only a few roasts and steaks. We knew that this was the best use of the beef for a large family.

    It seemed like only seconds before 2 workers walked in pulling our cattle which hung on hooks off of a trolley suspended from the ceiling.

    The workers were dressed in rumpled and blood stained white coveralls. They had white hats on their heads, rubber gloves on their hands and large black rubber boots on their feet. They were dressed well for the task that they had to do.

    Once they reached the big solid butchers block tables they commenced performing the task of turning the carcasses into large hunks of beef with sharp knives. They worked feverishly at this task. They moved with precision and steadiness which you would only expect from someone who has slaughter cattle for many years.

    There was not a lot of chit chat – they passed instructions back and forth as they decided what sections of beef would be used for what purpose.

    One of the guys worked on the carcass as another grabbed the slabs of beef and cut it up or ground it up. Then a third guy wrapped the final product up in freezer paper and put it into boxes for us.

    Again, it seemed like minutes, but I’m sure it was well over a few hours before we were back in the truck with the boxes of beef stored securely in the back where previously the cattle stood.

    When we got home we helped our mother unload the boxes and carefully stack the wrapped packages in the big deep freezer in the storage room next to the kitchen.

    Mom kept out a few packages of the ground beef which she took into the kitchen.

    Later that day after we did our garden and farm chores Mom called us for dinner.

    The table was covered with bowls of fresh corn, green beans and squash.

    Mom had baked fresh home made rolls. The smell of these rolls always made me hungry.

    There was a plate full of onions and tomatoes next to a colander of fresh leaf lettuce.

    The main course was Hamburger. Mom passed around the food for each of us to put on our dinner plates.

    As the food reached me I put a slice of tomato and onion on a roll. I piled a pickle on top and then placed a juicy medium rare hamburger on top of it all.

    I closed up the roll and then sat there staring at the hamburger in my hands.

    We raised all of the vegetables and the cattle ourselves – it was a lot of work, but I knew it was worth it.

    It only took one bite for me to realize that this was not just a great hamburger – it was the best hamburger ever.

    The flavor of the tomato, onion and pickle merged with the juicy warm hamburger created a beautiful attack on my taste buds. Each bite helped to amplify the flavor and joy that my senses felt from this feast.

    Yes – this was the best hamburger ever.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • The Saga of AT&T/Cingular/SunCom Wireless

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    I originally wrote this story in May 2005:

    How often do you need help and you call for it and lo & behold – it’s not there?

    I have been an AT&T cell phone client since early in 1998. I started using AT&T when I started working in Las Vegas for a public grass seed company. (Yeah go ahead and laugh – grass seed generally refers to green grass and Las Vegas is synonymous with brown dry hot sand.)

    I setup an enterprise account with AT&T and rolled out over 150 cell phones to every mobile employee we had in our company. I was proud of the project and excited that AT&T was the key to our quickly growing and powerful cell phone program.

    I loved my AT&T phone. It worked well and was not expensive to own. I was a proud user of the AT&T One-Rate Plan. This plan allowed me to use my cell phone anywhere in the United States for no extra fees. No roaming, no LD and no extra fees.

    I learned how to text message to it and eventually figured out how to send text messages from it. I never went anywhere without my phone and everyone I worked with and my entire family knew that if they needed to get a hold of me, I would answer my cell phone any time of the day or night.

    My cell phone number became a part of my identity. When leaving a message for someone or when sending an email message, I would proudly introduce myself as Teddy Burriss 336-918-5526. This became my call letters. I proudly told everyone that they could reach me anytime they needed me by just calling my cell.

    I had a great relationship with AT&T. They knew me by name because of the amount of business that I was doing with them. I could call them 24X7 to get help from any of the polite and professional customer support representatives. I learned the lingo and how the system work so that I could quickly get to the best support group no matter what the problem was.

    AT&T Wireless was my hero!

    In late 2000 I transferred back to Winston-Salem and started working for a smaller company again. I transferred my AT&T wireless cell phone number to my new company. I was still proud of AT&T wireless and my cell phone.

    I added another 8 or 10 new cell phones to my account and made more of my fellow employees happy to have AT&T Wireless cell phones.

    My cell phone continued to be a part of my identity.

    I wore out a few telephones but the service continued to grow and serve my needs as I expected.

    AT&T Wireless continued to roll out new cell towers and better and better coverage. They continued to partner with other cell phone companies to improve the coverage around the US.

    In late 2003 I jumped into another area of wireless services – Data. I bought my first Blackberry cell phone. This wireless device cost a little bit more than a phone and the rate plans were more expensive, but I got email on my hip.

    Now for those of you who do not know me – the communications method of choice for me is email every time. I tell all of my fellow employees and my family that if they want me to know about something and if they expect me to take care of it – I need to have it in email.

    The Blackberry also gave me calendar, contacts, notes and tasks. For the most part my cell phone had turned into my computer on my hip. Life is good!

    AT&T Wireless did a great job of transitioning me into a Blackberry user. Many Blackberry users refer to them as Crackberries.

    Life was good.

    Then all of a sudden (not really), life changed. The wireless world was merging rapidly. Cingular Wireless purchased AT&T wireless. Now on the surface this could have been a great thing. Cingular and AT&T Wireless are both great companies with fabulous strengths and resources. However; the FCC told Cingular that they could not own the AT&T Wireless accounts in North Carolina. They were told to sell these accounts off to SunCom Wireless, a small regional wireless company.

    This as well by itself should have been OK.

    But it all was horrible.

    The service started to degrade and during the transition, calling 611 on the cell phone would connect me to Cingular Wireless where the customer service reps had my account. But they wanted to transfer me to another customer service department responsible for the AT&T Wireless accounts that were being sold off to SunCom Wireless.

    My Blackberry started to disconnect from the data network regularly. I had to constantly reboot (OK, here is another word I never thought I would use with cell phones) the phone.
    Email started showing up sporadically. Sometimes hours would go by and then I would get dozens of messages at once.

    I kept calling 611 and then I started calling the 866 number that routed me directly to the customer service department that the agents at 611 said I had to talk to.
    I spent nearly a week working on trying to get my blackberry to work. I commute about 1 hour to and from work each day. On two different days I remember talking to multiple customer service agents all the way home.

    Every time I called the 866 number I got the displeasure of listening to Harry Conick Jr. spouting marketing noise about how great SunCom is. I heard this phrase well over 100 times. It quickly became sickening.

    One day I called the 611 number and after being routed to a live Cingular Wireless person, they transferred me to the SunCom Wireless agent. As soon as I said AT&T, this new agent transferred me back to the Cingular Wireless agent. Each time I nearly begged them not to bounce me back and forth. My cries for better customer service fell on deaf ears.

    Periodically I would get in contact with someone who would make attempts to solve my problem. One agent said that she was sending out a new “service book” to my device. She thought that his could solve my problem. It didn’t.

    Each time I talked to a Customer Service Rep (I’m laughing at the definition of this phrase now) I asked them to record my problems in my customer file. Each person I talked to said that they did not have access to my records. I knew this would cause problems in the future. No record of my activities.

    Finally I gave up. I called Verizon Wireless and had my treasured cell phone number ported to a new blackberry with them.

    Now here is when the real lunacy started.

    AT&T wireless called my house and informed me that since I switched to a new cell phone carrier that I would have to pay the $150 early termination fee.

    Go figure – I have had this account since 1998 and 7 years later I was being charged an early termination fee.

    Now I know that when I got the account in 1998 there was a 1 year commitment. And I know that every time I modified my account they told me that I was required to commit to another 1 year agreement. I was OK with this as long as my wireless carrier (Partner) kept up their end of the agreement to provide quality service.

    They failed to keep up their end of the relationship.

    When I tried to inform the AT&T Wireless rep calling me what the problem was he told me, “You should have talked to an AT&T Wireless rep before you cancelled your account”.

    I tried to explain that I expected calling 611 or any of the numbers that the 611 Customer Service Reps told me to call would direct me to the right people to help me. I was only following the directions given to me.
    I tried to explain to this person all of the problems that I have been dealing with for the past week.

    This guy stuck to his script and never once offered that my problems were unacceptable and justification for me to terminate my relationship with AT&T Wireless (or Cingular or SunCom, who ever it was at that point)

    I repeated my story at least 3-4 times to this guy and he never falter with his position. I was proud of myself because even though I was quite “torked” I also never lost my cool.

    Finally I told him that I would not pay the $150 early termination fee and that we were wasting each other’s time.

    He then asked if there was anything else he could do to help me and then said goodbye.

    The next day I got a call on my house phone from another AT&T Wireless support person telling me that they had looked into my problem and had determined that my problem was with my Blackberry Device – not AT&T Wireless.

    I’m a proud Verizon Wireless customer today. Today, April 2011, I still have 336-918-5526 as my only phone number and my entire family (10+ phones) are all Verizon customers.

    I have a new wireless carrier of choice. I hope the relationship lasts as long as my AT&T relationship lasted.

    Teddy

  • Waste Not Want Not

    by

    Constantly we are reminded not to waste. Thru hundreds of famous quotations and proverbs such as:

    1. Haste makes waste
    2. Waste Not Want Not
    3. A mind is a terrible thing to waste
    4. A favour ill placed is great waste.
    5. Though you live near a forest, do not waste firewood.
    6. Youth is wasted on the young.

    And my all time favorite: A day without laughter is a day wasted.

    Day to day our governments and industry leaders spend millions of dollars to campaign against wasting resources such as natural fuels, trees, water and other natural resources that many believe are depleting beyond recovery.

    I will spend the next few minutes trying to persuade you to participate in activities that counter wasting a very special resource.

    No, I am not going to preach to you about wasting time, nor am I going to rant on about wasting money.

    I want to help you think about not wasting away a personal and valuable resource – our friendships.

    Friendships start at a young age in families, day cares and nurseries. Then our friendships increase and change as we grow up and enter school, college, and the working world. In some cases we are able to retain our early friendships. Some of us still have childhood friends from various activities such as Boy scouts, high school and college.

    It is a natural progression of life for our friends to change. Let me repeat this – It is a natural progression of life for our friends to change.

    In many cases our friends change as we age, change schools, go to college, start and change careers, get married, raise a family and move around the country or world.

    I personally know hundreds of people that today I consider my friends. Look there are over 10 in this room.

    I still have friends who I went to Kindergarten with, friends from Elementary School, High School and college. I have friends I have met thru my parents and friends I have met around the world in business and personal travel.

    I have friends from my first job, my first professional career move and from the charitable events I participate in over the last 20 years.

    Now – I also remember hundreds of people who I used to consider a friend and because of the normal progression of life our lives have separated and friendships have waned. – This is OK

    There are however – examples of changes of friendship beyond the natural progression of life that are necessary.

    These include the loss of a friendship because of unethical behavior or activities that causes pain and suffering to others.

    However for the most part – losing a friend for reasons beyond the natural progression of life is what I consider a waste.

    Friendship is a gift that allows us to accept their individuality and uniqueness. If we can not accept our friend’s uniqueness – we waste a friendship

    Friendship permits us to discuss or debate and even passionately argue our opinions and then continue considering each other a friend; albeit a friend with a different opinion. If we can not accept our friend’s opinions – we waste a friendship.

    Friendship allows us to permit our friends to point out our mistakes and then help us to correct them. If we can not accept criticism or help from our friends – we waste a friendship.
    Friendship allows our friends to have other friends, different than us. If we can not accept this – we waste a friendship.

    Friendship allows us to accept that our friends may have different priorities than we do. Not accepting this can cause us to waste a friendship.

    -Pause-

    Loosing a friend because of differences of opinion, life styles, social standing or jealousy are typical causes of friendship waste.

    Marital status, ethical career choices and financial issues are even more examples of friendship waste.

    There is no government agency or industry watchdog group measuring the waste of friendships.

    There is no census bureau data that show the yearly statistics of Friendship waste.

    Teenagers track their friends on their Instant Message listing and in their diaries

    College students use a web site to track their growing and changing list of friends.

    Some of us adults in business use our contact listings or address books to track our friends.

    How painful it must feel to delete a record from these listings especially when the person was once a friend.

    Tonight as you sit and ponder your day or prepare for a good nights rest – review this listing of definitions to What is
    A Friend and then think –

    What can I do to keep from wasting a friendship?

    What is a Friend?

    Free to be yourself with, just the way you are
    Ready to tell your most private thoughts to
    Inspired by when you are feeling down
    Eager to listen to as well as talk to
    Never going to forget no matter what
    Dependent on for advice and support

    · A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. – Jerome Cummings
    · Only your real friends tell you when your face is dirty. – Sicilian Proverb
    · What is a friend? I will tell you…it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. – Frank Crane
    · A good friend remembers what we were and sees what we can be. – Unknown
    · A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. – Walter Winchell
    · The only way to have a friend is to be one. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
    · A friend is someone who is there for you when he’d rather be somewhere else. – Unknown
    · In a friend you find a second self. – Isabelle Norton
    · The better you know someone, the less there is to say. Or maybe, there’s less that needs to be said. – Unknown
    · A friend loveth at all times. – Proverbs 17:17
    · Every gift from a friend is a wish for your happiness… – Richard Bach
    · A friend hears the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails. – Unknown
    · Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows. – Unknown
    · Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer. – Unknown
    · The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. – Unknown
    · A friend is someone who reaches out for your hand…and touches your heart. – Unknown
    · How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to. – Unknown
    · Some people come into our lives, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never the same. – Unknown
    · Love is temporary…but friends are forever. – Kelly Wheeler
    · Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. – Helen Keller
    · You only meet your once in a lifetime friend… once in a lifetime. – Little Rascals
    · no man is useless while he has a friend. – Robert Louis Stevenson
    · The friendship that can cease has never been real. – Saint Jerome
    · Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods. – Aristotle
    · Friends are born, not made. – Henry Adams
    · A circle is round it has no end, that’s how long I want to be your friend! – Anonymous
    · To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world. – Unknown
    · It takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it. – Unknown
    · No love, no friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some kind of mark on it forever. – Unknown
    · Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life. – Unknown
    · When a friend’s in trouble, don’t insult him by asking what you can do, think for yourself and start doing it. – Unknown
    · Silence is the true friend that never betrays. -Confucius
    · Love is blind, but friendship closes its eyes. -Unknown
    · Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow ~ don’t walk behind me, I may not lead ~ Just walk beside me and be my friend. -Unknown
    · A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature. -Ralph Waldo Emerson
    · My father always used to say that when you die, if you’ve got five real friends, then you’ve had a great life. -Lee Iacocca
    · Hold a true friend with both your hands. -Nigerian Proverb
    · Sometimes our light goes out but is blown into flame by another human being. Each of us owes deepest thanks to those who have rekindled this light. -Albert Schweitzer
    · Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? -Abraham Lincoln
    · You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. -Dale Carnegie
    · A brother is not always a friend, but a friend is always a brother. – Unknown
    · Never hurt your friends, not even in a joke. – Unknown
    · A friendship that stops existing was actually never there. – Unknown
    · One loyal friend is better than ten thousand family members. – Unknown
    · He who searches for friends without faults, will never have a friend. – Unknown
    · You will never have a perfect friendship, but you must strive for one. – Unknown
    · A person who has no friends lives only half way. – Unknown
    · Be careful of what you say, friendship can end in one minute because of a stupid word. – Unknown
    · Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life. – Unknown
    · Friends are the angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. – Unknown
    · Wherever you may be it is your friends who make your world. – Unknown
    · I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh. But I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry. – Unknown
    · He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
    · If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I would not follow; I would be at the bottom to catch them when they fall. – Unknown
    · A friend in need is a friend indeed. – Latin Proverb
    · A good friend is my nearest relation. – Unknown
    · The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb. – German Proverb
    · Life without a friend is like death without a witness. – Spanish Proverb
    · The best mirror is an old friend. – Unknown
    · Life is partly what we make it, and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose. – Tehyi Hsieh
    · There is no hope of joy except in human relations. – Antoine de Sainte-Exupery
    · The making of friends, who are real friends, is the best token we have of a man’s success in life. – Edward Everett Hale
    · Except in cases of necessity, which are rare, leave your friend to learn unpleasant things from his enemies; they are ready enough to tell them. – Oliver Wendell Holmes
    · The most I can do for my friend is simply to be his friend. I have no wealth to bestow on him. If he knows that I am happy in loving him, he will want no other reward. Is not friendship divine in this? – Henry David Thoreau
    · Friendship that flows from the heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from the spring cannot congeal in winter. – James Fennimore Cooper
    · Friendship without self interest is one of the rare and beautiful things in life. – James Francis Byrnes
    · Best friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere. – Unknown

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Experience Bucket

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    Ex·pe·ri·ence is created from active participation in events or activities, leading to the accumulation of knowledge or skill

    Some of my favorite quotes about experiences:Oprah Winfrey said “With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.
    An anonymous quotation “Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterward.”

    And William Channing said, “Nothing which has entered into our experience is ever lost.”

    Now I want everyone to close your eyes for a moment

    Visualize a big white bucket with a shiny handle.

    Around the top edge of the bucket is the word – Experiences.
    (Open your eyes if you want)

    Let me tell you about my Experience Bucket and hopefully thru my story you will begin to realize that you also have an experience bucket.

    Only recently did I discover that I have my own personal experience bucket .

    I think this discovery is due in part from the combination of increased wisdom and the associated age, as well as the increased size and weight of my experience bucket.

    Now that I can clearly see my experience bucket, I am proud to have it and enjoy looking at the many interesting and valuable experiences that it contains.

    This in its own right is another experience.

    Once I looked into my experience bucket I found that it actually contains many smaller buckets.

    Each of these buckets is labeled and it contains experiences related to that label.

    As I peer into my experience bucket I see the many different labels. They include:

    Childhood / Family / School / Relationship / Religion / Growing up / Friend / The Law / Failure / Sports / Dating / Marriage / College / Father / Husband / First Job / Success / Career / Building / Driving / Vacation / Challenging Authority / Fear

    The more I looked in my experience bucket the bigger it gets and the more smaller buckets I found.

    Recently I looked around in my Experience Bucket and found buckets for:
    Motorcycles / Changing Careers / Toastmasters / Charity / Colorado / Big Brothers & Big Sisters / Grandpa / Wisdom

    I’m sure there were others as well behind these buckets and one day as the experience bucket gets stirred up I am sure I will see more.

    As I look at the many smaller buckets I can see that they contain stories, words, memories and images that make up an experience associated with the bucket it’s in.

    Some of these experiences can be personal and private.

    However; many of my experiences are shareable.

    I feel that it’s important to have experiences that you can share with others.

    Not just to be able to tell a story from your experiences, or as words of wisdom for those who have not experienced the same as you, but also to be able to show others that everyone has their own unique and possibly interesting experiences.

    You can not judge others by just what they say or do. You also can not see into someone else’ experience bucket. Because of this it is important to not be judgmental.

    Furthermore it is also important to use the contents of your experience bucket and your talents and skills to help others when possible.

    I agree with the idea that our experiences are what make up our person.

    If we sat around our home all day, did nothing new at all, ignored or worst, ran from new experiences, I am sure that as a person we would wither up and blow away.

    Because of this I firmly believe that it is a priority in life to collect as many different experiences as possible for our experience bucket.

    Let me tell you about some of my new smaller experience buckets inside my personal experience bucket.

    Some of my newest experiences are associated with activities that I never thought I would be a part of.

    Yet, I am ever so glad that these activities are now experiences in my personal experience bucket and they have changed my life.

    Grandpa Bucket
    I for years boldly boasted that I wanted nothing to do with this generational label.
    Today I quietly boast about being a Grandpa and this is due totally because of the experiences I have collected in the Grandpa bucket over the past 6 months.

    Motorcycle Bucket
    Riding around the country on an old man’s touring bike with my wife hanging on behind me has become a past time that I truly enjoy.
    I had to experience it to believe that I would really enjoy it, and I am now an old man motorcyclist.

    Husband Bucket
    Back in 1978, who would have ever guessed that I would marry, have 4 girls, and be living in NC.
    Even with all my planning back then I didn’t expect to add this group of experiences to my bucket
    More importantly, I am a much better person because of it.
    Believe me about this, even without hearing some of my private experiences from the 70’s.

    Toastmaster Bucket
    Not quite as far a stretch, but this as well is an experience (really a expanding group of experiences) that is still changing me today.

    I hoped when I started this speech that by talking about my own personal experience bucket you would be able to start visualizing your own.
    I hope that you are beginning to.
    If so, label a new little bucket and place this experience in it.

    Enjoy your experience bucket.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.

  • Raising Daughters

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    Anyone can raise 4 daughters. Some of you may have. But only I could do it the way I did.

    My wife and I are blessed to have 4 beautiful girls who have grown up to be great despite everything I did. And the lord knows I challenged these girls toward success in everyway and repeatedly.

    I will address some areas of child rearing that I excelled at. I believe that these areas of child rearing are worthy of sharing with each of you.

    Diapers
    There was this period of time when our oldest daughter was born that we tried to use cloth diapers instead of the newly developed disposable diapers.

    Now for the younger generation here, let me tell you about these things.

    You have to fold them to fit the area that you’re trying to cover. That was hard for me to do because when Jessie was first born, the area the diaper was covering was smaller than my hand, but the diaper was large enough to cover her from head to toe.

    The biggest problem that I had with these diapers was the Pin. This thing was dangerous. More times than I care to remember – I ended up leaving a large dot of my blood on the diaper, a scream on my lips and tear in my eye. Ok, the truth – the scream escaped my lips and echoed thru out the room freaking out the kid who then screamed and sometimes caused me to jerk and stick myself again

    It did not take long for us to decide that the new-fangled disposable diapers were a good idea. We got rid of those dangerous pins. And when the little plastic tape fails to work properly, duct tape works just fine.

    The Rules
    Another important aspect of raising kids is to make sure they know the rules.

    We all know it’s sometimes easier to follow the rules of big business instead of Dad’s rules.
    When we would go to a store I told them to always hold our hands.

    In Wal-Mart I would say – “Hold Daddy’s hand – its Wal-Mart’s Rule”

    OR – “Ride in the shopping cart – its Harris-Teeter’s Rule”

    OR – “Don’t touch the stuff – its Sears Rule”

    Rules from big businesses always seemed easier for the kids to accept. I kept this up for years and consistency it worked.

    As teenagers, when we were in these stores the girls notice some younger kids not following the rules and when they would point this out I would have to try to explain that the rules could have changed. They still don’t understand.

    The Closet
    I tried often to share my child rearing wisdom with other young parents. Some of these parents were not eager to accept my ways. I prayed for these parents. A few were open to my great ideas. My wife prayed for these people. Every now and then Becky and I would go out and leave the girls with another family member. I made sure that they knew my rules.
    We always got asked, “What did you do with the kids?”

    I would always reply, “The Closet – Isn’t that how you do it?”

    Some parents thought I was joking. Others wanted to know more. I knew there was hope for these parents.

    I would explain to them that the heavy duty hangers fit really well into the clothes that the girls had on and they could hang in a closet for 2-3 hours if we fed them a really heavy meal. We did learn the hard way to put the girls in different closets. They would help each other get in trouble once they got down.

    Usually one or two parents would gasp in horror. Every once and a while one of the parents would look at us with wonderment as if they were going to try it soon.

    Myrtle
    Unlike my little brothers with names like “Dang It”, “Oh-No”, “Not-Again” and “God-No”, my daughters have typical Anglo-Saxon names: Jessie, Rachel, Megan & Lauren. We knew this would going to be a problem early on. When you’re in a store or mall and you yell out for Jessie, Rachel, Megan or Lauren sometimes 3-4 different little girls or boys will call back. This made it hard sometimes to find our wandering children. It was really difficult at the schools and sports events where their little friends were.

    I figured out how to fix this. I started to call all of my girls “Myrtle”.

    If you yell out “Myrtle” in a mall, school or at the football game or basketball game, generally no one would answer except maybe someone’s great grandmother. But as soon as I yelled it, I could tell where my girls were because they would be the ones who would be running away from me.

    I know the girls love the little pet name I have for them. You could tell by the cute little faces they make when they hear it. And I know they only want me to call them this because I saw one of my girls beat up her boy friend when he called her “Myrtle”. She had that cute little smile and he seemed to be crying. He never called her “Myrtle” again.

    I have a grand daughter named “Amanda” – I plan on calling of the grandkids “Baby Myrtles”.
    No matter what my wife says – they’ll love it, I’m sure.

    Grand baby
    Speaking of Grand-kids – Now that I have successfully raised 4 daughters and having done it my way, the best way, I’m done.

    I have spent the past 21 years raising kids and I am sure that everyone agrees that I have done my share.

    I turned 4 runny nosed, whiny little kids into nearly productive members of society.

    A few months ago my daughter told me that she was pregnant.

    I am very happy for Jessie & Oscar. I wish my daughter and her husband well and lots of luck raising their own children.

    I offered to provide all of the guidance that I think they need raising their baby via phone or email. Preferably email. More specifically a weekly newsletter titled – Raising kids the Right Way – Teddy’s Way. You can get this newsletter by signing up at http://www.teddys-way.com.

    Now, I’m proud of my current role in my family. The Grumpy Old man. This is a much easier and less demanding role at my age. And Grumpy Old Men have no time for cooing little babies.

    I told my daughter exactly what I expected from her regarding this baby.

    I invited her to bring the baby over any of our 9 celebrated holidays. And, Thanksgiving is not a 2 day holiday. And furthermore I did not want this baby to cause any interruptions during the football games.

    I promised her that her baby could go home with her every night – since I had no plans of spending my nights with a little baby.

    I also assured Jessie that I would not feed or change her baby incorrectly, since I did not plan on doing any of these baby tasks.

    I assured Jessie that eventually her daughter would have the utmost respect for me as an elder. Every time I see her I ask her to say just one thing – Grandpa – You DaMan! One of these days she will be able to vocalize this respect.

    Years ago I painted the word “baby” on an old 5 gallon bucket. I showed the bucket to Jessie and told her to place the baby in the bucket when she came over. Anything in the baby had to stay in the baby or in the bucket during the short visits. I kindly asked her to please wash the bucket before she leaves.

    The bucket always sits by the front door.

    When I told Jessie all of this, she made that cute little face she always makes when I call her Myrtle.

    I’m sure she appreciates my offers of help.

    Any way, since I am sure that Jessie and Oscar will follow all of my advice, I have no doubt that her baby will also grow up and benefit society just as she has.

    Now many of you may feel that my child rearing skills are somewhat different than what you experienced as a child or what you were comfortable using with your own children.

    If you could meet my kids I’m sure you would agree that Teddy’s way works.

    Ask my wife – I’m sure she will tell you.

    If you are looking for any further guidance raising kids – feel free to ask me for help. I’m there if you need me.

    Thanks for taking time to read my blog feeds – Let me know what you want to hear about and I will do my best to provide even better content.