School Hospitality Committee By-Laws

Here is a letter that I was sent that is rather interesting, if not ridiculous.

It came from an Elementary School administrator and was sent to all of the teachers of that school. The name of the school has been changed to protect the school system. Where I altered the words or added to the message, to better emphasis the bylaw, I put my initials.

I feel it’s ridiculous for a few reasons:

  1. Hospitality is defined as – “The friendly and generous reception and entertainment of guests, visitors, or strangers.”
  2. The definition of Hospitality is not to collect money and redistribute back to only those who donate.
  3. The focus of this committee does not indicate any generosity to anyone beyond those who donate

What do you think about this committee’s bylaws?

REVISED September 2012

Each teacher is requested to join the Committee with a $25 entry fee. (TLB)

The administrator repeatedly announced over the PA system, durin the school day, that the Committee dues were due.

Hospitality Committee By-Laws 2012-2013 School Year

1. In case of hospitalization due to serious illness that requires 3-4 or more consecutive days of absence, of any staff member, a plant or gift of $25 shall be given.

2. In case of death of a staff member, a memorial or $100 shall be given.

3. In case of death of an immediate member of the family of a staff member (mother,father, sister, brother, child, spouse, mother-in-law, or father-in-law), a memorial of $25 shall be given (including auxiliary personnel – social worker, nurse, psychologist,
cafeteria staff, custodial staff, BUDS services).

4. In case of the death of a closer relative a card shall be sent.

5. In case of death of an educator in the school system, such a Superintendent, Principal of another school, or Supervisor, a card shall be sent.

6. Any faculty member who completes a degree or who becomes Nationally Board Certified shall receive a $25 gift certificate.

7. The “Teacher of the Year” (TOY) and Classified Employee of the Year shall each receive a $50 gift certificate in the year she/he serves as Teacher of the Year or Classified Employee of the Year.

If I were Teacher of the Year, I would not want to be tagged TOY (TLB)

8. Upon marriage of a faculty member, a gift certificate of $25 will be given (auxiliary personnel). (Staff members who have paid dues are not required to give a gift if a bridal shower is given).

9. For the birth of a baby, or legal adoption of a child, the faculty member shall receive a gift certificate of $25. (Staff members who have paid dues are not required to give a gift if a baby shower is given).

So, if all of the teachers join this committee, and they have a baby shower – can we all show up without a gift? (TLB)

10. For retiring faculty members, a $50 gift certificate shall be given at a school gathering.

11. Staff Christmas party and End of the Year picnic shall be partially funded as determined by the Hospitality Committee.

This is so only partially hospitable (TLB)

12. All staff are encouraged to participate in the Hospitality Committee. If you choose not to participate, you may not be included in the above monetary gifts.

Does this mean that I may be included because I’m special and the others are not? (TLB)




I lost my Car

In 1976 I acquired a 1966 Chevy II from my older brother. I am not quite clear how I ended up with this car, but for the sake of staying out of trouble with Nelson, I am sure that I paid him lots of money for it. Probably far more than what it was worth.

This was a pretty cool car, (cool is relevant to this was 1976). I think Nelson got the car from a racing friend named Buddy Bodmer.

When Nelson got done fixing the car up it was a pretty cool car.  Baby blue two door with Cregar Chrome wheels on it. Fat wheels on the back and thin, bicycle wheels on the front. Under the hood was a Chevy 350 V-8, which barely fit in there. Nelson put a 4 speed transmission in the car and it had a big Holley Carburetor on top of the engine. (Actually at one point I think it had a Six Pack on top of the engine – again – Cool).

This was a race car relevant to all the other cars we had back then.

Now, back then I did a lot of pretty dumb stuff. Some of which I will tell thru these blog, some I will never repeat.  One night I was heading home from a night out on the town. Likely from Frederick MD or possibly the Rockville MD area, since I was driving thru Comus MD to the house we lived on outside of Barnesville.

When I got into Comus I stopped at a little gas station and convenience store to get a coke, bottled coke from a machine.  It was late and the store was closed, but back then the coke machines were out front and easily accessible.

I pulled my car up the little hill into the parking lot of the store and parked my car next to the gas pump.  Not the use of singular “Pump”  No two sided gas pumps and there certainly were not rows of gas pumps back then. The pump was the old style that actually had a crank on the side of the cabinet to reset the counter for amount of fuel and the cost. Also, there was no credit card slot, let alone credit cards back then.

I jumped out of the car swung around and swaggered (Cool again) up to the coke machine. Back then the cost of a 12 Oz Bottle of Coke was likely $0.50 and the machine only took change. I slid my two quarters in the machine, press Coke and waited for the bottle to fall. When it did, I grabbed it, and popped the top off on the opener that was mounted on the front of the machine. With my back still to my car, I took a few drinks of Coke and then turned to walk back to my car.

My car was gone.

I stood there for a moment wondering what the heck was going on. Then I heard it.

My car had dual Hush Thrush mufflers on it and I could tell the sound of my car over anyone else’s, especially at this hour of night since no other cars were around, let alone running. I could hear the car, but after scanning the area, I could not see it.

I listened more closely and then figured it out. My car had rolled down the hill, across the road and into a ditch. I ran down to the side of the road and saw my car. It was still on its wheels, but it was stuck in a bunch of bushes and small trees. No way was it coming out of that ditch by itself. Crap!

I had to make that phone call that I had made so many times before.

Remember, this was sometime in 1976 and we did not have cell phones back then. Fortunately, I had some quarters left and there was a payphone at the store as well.

I had to call the house. There was only one phone in the house. It was in the kitchen. No matter what time of day or night, any time the phone rang one of my brothers or sisters would eagerly run to answer it.

I can’t recall exactly who answered the phone, but I do recall the insane laughter when I told them what had happened.

This story ends with two activities. Charlie Glass, who owned a tow truck business in Poolesville MD came out to Comus and pulled my car out of the ditch, for a reasonable amount of money (again 1976).  For weeks I got laughed at by everyone for this shenanigan.

The only reason anyone stopped laughing at me for this, is that eventually I did something else equally ridiculous or possibly more bizarre.