Boating Chaos # 4

This is the last of 4 boating incidents (as of now)

Boating Incident # 4 – The last story I have occurred in an even larger boat on an even larger body of water.

My brother-in-law, father-in-law and I decided one year to charter an ocean fishing boat.

We started at 5:00am heading out to sea. It took about 3 or 4 hours for the problems to develop, and when they did, I was initially the only one to notice it.

After a few hours of waves, diesel fumes, biscuits, coffee, waves, diesel fumes, waves, diesel fumes, waves and more diesel fumes, my body decided that everything I had eaten over the past few hours must go.

Now, I handled this pretty well, with the greatest pain being mental. I was not really that embarrassed, until the first mate started trying to make me feel better. He said that he had seen this time & time again, mostly with small children and women.

This excursion was touted as a manly thing for us to do.  And getting sea sick was not really very manly. Or at least I thought so.

Fortunately I manned up and eventually got over the nausea. The rest of the trip was pretty nice.

Unfortunately, my brother-in-law decided that our wives and friends needed to know all about this trip, repeatedly, year after year.

I learned two things from this trip.

1 – I will get sea sick if I go deep sea fishing

2 – Tell everyone this up front so that they can’t harass me later.

Boating Chaos # 1

This is story number 1 of 4 (as of now)

Boating Incident #1 – The first time I had any problems boating was the afternoon that my brother-in-law and I decided to go crabbing in a row boat with a motor.

We were vacationing outside of Ocean City MD near a small bay named Assawoman Bay. Please don’t ask me for the history of this bay. I have no idea how the name was chosen.

Link and I failed to achieve our goal of catching any crabs for dinner that night. Therefore we decided to head our little boat towards a marina next to the inlet. We were sure that a good cold beer would help us forget that we caught nothing.

Now, Link and I are educated and experienced men. We are however, not very knowledgeable regarding the times for low tide at Assawomen Bay, which empties into the great Atlantic Ocean with thunderous waves. As we motored towards the marina where our ice cold beers were sure to be, we realized that our little motorboat was zipping along at a pace we had not yet experienced. I mean, it was flying.

We were being sucked out to sea by low tide. We put our heads together and figured out that we needed to turn the boat around. As soon as we did this we realized that, even though we were at full throttle, we were still heading out to sea.

The tide was faster than the little Putt-Putt. We never thought about doom or death. We did however, strategize and decided to angle the boat in such a way that as the tide sucked us out toward the inlet, backwards, we were still heading towards the marina.

Our strategy worked and we celebrated our win over the tide & Ocean with a nice cold Coke. Unfortunately there was no beer at the marina.

There are at least two things we learned from this experience

1 – Never take a little motor boat out in a bay connected to the ocean

2 – Stay away from marinas that do not have beer.