Public Meeting Protocol

Because of all of the Public Speaking engagements, fans, stalkers, groupies and paparazzi, it has become important to publish the Official Manual of Protocol for publicly meeting @NCWiseman

  1. Do not rush @NCWiseman when he enters a venue
  2. Do not touch @NCWiseman unless he touches you first
  3. Do not yell, scream or holler at @NCWiseman when he enters the venue
  4. Do not offer @NCWiseman any items (including but not exclusively t-shirts, hats, CDs, flowers, food, etc)
  5. Do not ask for photography time
  6. Do not ask @NCWiseman for autographs
  7. Do not share any stories with @NCWiseman unless he asks you to tell him something specifically, then keep the story to less than 20 seconds.
  8. Do not push, shove, elbow or otherwise act like a fool to get to the front of the reception line for @NCWiseman
  9. Do not ask @NCWiseman any non-relevant questions (ie. how is your dog or what coffee did you have this morning)
  10. Do not under any situation, ever point at @NCWiseman.

This is an official list.  We will update it as needed to insure that everyone understands the appropriate Protocol for engaging in a public setting with @NCWiseman.

Any questions or comments can be directed to The office of Official Protocol for Meeting @NCWiseman.

Bullshit Bingo

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars?  What about those long and boring conference calls?

Here’s a way to change all of that:

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare your “Bullshit Bingo” card by drawing a square — I find that 5″ x 5″ is a good size. Divide the card into columns — five across and five down. That will give you 25, 1″ blocks.

2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

synergy                                      strategic fit
core competencies                  best practice
bottom line                                revisit
take that off-line                     24/7
out of the loop                           benchmark
value-added                               proactive
win-win                                      think outside the box
fast track                                     result-driven
mindset                                       empower (or empowerment)
knowledge base                        at the end of the day
touch base                                  client focus(ed)
ballpark                                      game plan
leverage

3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout “BULLSHIT!”

Testimonials from satisfied “Bullshit Bingo” players:

* “I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won.” –Jack W., Boston

* “My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically.” –David D., Florida

* “What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win.” –Bill R., New York City

* “The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box.” –Ben G., Denver

* “The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed “BULLSHIT!” for the third time in two hours.” –Kathleen L., Atlanta

I stole this from a friend named Lynn. No idea who she stole it from.