Think before YELLING

A lady friend drove up to the bank. She wanted to go to the first window with the drawer, but the sign said “Out of Service”, so she pointed her car to the next aisle where the Flying bank tubes are.

She pulled up to the tube and began filling out her deposit slip and signing the dozens of checks she wanted to cash. Being aware of her surroundings, fortunately no one was behind her because putting the deposit together was taking some time.

It took a few minutes to put the deposit together, yet still no teller. She looked into the bank window and saw a teller sitting in a chair away from the window. It looked like she was reading a book. “I wonder why she is ignoring me,” thought the lady in the car.

She decided to give the teller a few more minutes. To use the idle time she began looking at her email messages on her smart phone.

Another few minutes passed and still no teller. She looked in the bank window and the teller was still seated in the same chair reading her book. The teller looked up in time to catch the eye of the lady in the car, and then looked back down at her book.

Now the lady in the car was getting slightly pissed off. She started looking agitated and was just about to honk her car horn or even yell out loud, “WTH lady – come over here and help me!” Fortunately the teller decided to come to the window seconds before the lady in the car went off.

The speaker turned on as the teller said, “Excuse me Miss.  If you need my help please use the tube or press the “Call Teller” button.  I’ll be happy to help you out.”

“What an idiot,” said the lady in the car, to herself, about herself.

“I forgot, thanks for reminding me,” she said as she reached for the bank tube.

The point of this story is to remind us all to THINK before we YELL. It’s best to be sure who the Idiot is before you get all fired up.

If you are the Idiot and you start screaming, you become the Bigger Idiot. Just saying.



No – I refuse to be First

It’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon.

I sit here on the couch watching North Carolina State University (NCSU) playing in the ACC Tournament against University of North Carolina (UNC).

I love college basketball in March – March Madness for those of you who don’t get into college basketball.

However – I have to go mow the yard for the first time this season.

My wife asked me why I did not do it last weekend.  When I told her because Bob has not mowed yet, she replied with her favorite term of endearment, “Idiot”.

You see, it’s the law of the neighborhood.  I won’t mow until after either Bob or John.

We all know there are two types of men when it comes to the first mow of the season:

They guy who always has to be the first to pull out his lawn mower every year


The guy who refuses to be the first to mow, despite how high the grass gets

I’m the later.  I never want to be the first.

If I did, I know what the neighbors would be saying, “There goes Teddy being the first to mow his grass. Always trying to make his lawn look better than ours.”

At least, that’s what I say about my neighbors every spring.

Last week I left the mower in the garage and sure enough, my neighbor pulled his mower our today. He’s out there mowing while I watch the game.  It’s half time which means in about 30 minutes I can go mow.

It’ll be about 3pm and the sun will be high in the sky making it nice outside.

I can get my Itunes & ear buds out, pop a top on a new ice cold beer and light up a good cigar.

I can proudly mow knowing that my neighbors won’t think I’m trying to out do them.

Wait, I wonder if they’ll think I’m copying them? Crap – maybe I better wait another week. Did you hear that? My wife called me “Idiot” despite me saying anything out loud.

I’ll mow after the game today.



Why are some business men anything but Professional?

I wrote this post in 2004 and the conversation came up today 3/7/2011

Being a part of many industries for over 25 years I have had both the pleasure and misfortune to work with lots of different personalities. I have easily adapted working with people who are:

  • quiet or loud
  • overbearing or meak
  • demanding or accomodating
  • biased or open-minded

as well as people who waffle across the spectrum of any of these or other traits.

I worked with one professional with a distiquished Doctorate who boldly professed that he could be working with other professionals on a serious issue one second and then as if spinning on a dime, get totally wrapped up into the subject matter of a playboy magazine and then back to the serious conversations again. He called this “range”. I personally think he is a very confused and unfocused individual.

Another professional I spent time working with seemed to think that he could never do anything wrong. In hindsight (wonderful thing – don’t you all agree?), I now see why he accomplished very little. He spent most of his waking hours making sure that if he had any projects that could possibly go wrong there was going to be someone else he could blame the problems on. I sometimes wonder if in his Project Plan he actually budgeted time and resources to making sure that there was someone else to blame.

As much as I wish that it were not true – I have worked with:

  • racists
  • sexists
  • slackers
  • perpetual liars
  • unethical people
  • as well as down right theives and crooks.

Another type of self labeled professional that I have experienced are the “Hypocrites”.

These people can be two faced, back-stabbers and in many cases bold faced liars. You never really know where you stand with hypocrites.

  • You sign the contract and then wonder if they will keep their word.
  • You hire them and after they say they will work hard for a fair pay – they don’t
  • You counsel them on non-performance issues, they promise to correct the situation – and they repeat the same non-performance issue again and again.
  • You commit to them to buy a product at a specific price and without fair notice – they up the price
  • They promise to support your programs and then immediately go off and tell others that your programs are destined to fail

Again, Hypocrites are very difficult to work with. It can be done – you just need to watch them closely.

The last example I want to offer tonight is of a business man who was anything but a professional – “The foul mouthed fool”
Recently I experienced a challenging conversation with a business man who felt it necessary to disagree with everything I said thru the use of every 4-letter and profane word he could muster thru his alcohol tainted lips. He told me it was after 5:00pm (actually 5:45pm) and since I called him at home on his cell phone he felt like he could speak in whatever manner he liked.

We were speaking about a contract between our two companies where I interpreted it one way and he in another quite different way.

Every sentence out of his mouth started with or was imbedded with some of the most foul pronouns and adverbs you expect to hear at the country & western bar or in the ghettos, but not in a business conversation.

Early into his “heated” barrage of words as he expressed his disapproval of my interpretation of the contract, I asked him ever so politely to discontinue cussing to me. I explained to him that as business men we should be able to agree to disagree politely while we lobby our own interpretations.

He told me to “Get F***ed!”

Ok – now I’m no angel.  I had to work at cleaning up my language after working in a chemical plant for 10 years where I hung out with roughneck contractors and laborers for 10 years. Yet, I know when to keep my language clean and how to communicate properly with other business people. This guy has no F’ing clue.

He has proven to me that there are now and will always be people out there who call themselves professional business men who are actually “idiots in suits” or “foul-mouthed fools”.