This club has a specific set of rules that must be followed
I have never failed following them myself.
I sent my friend these rules so that he will be fully prepared as a new member of the club.
I’m sure he will be fine and actually like following these rules.
- You must change the background picture of your cellPhone to a picture of the boys
- You must tease them about their mother and all the funny baby stuff she did
- You must train them to be just like you so that their mother will have to say, “Stop being like your grandfather”
- You must teach them all the dumb jokes that your ancestors have said over the past 100 years. (mine is “Rooster, Hen, Pullet”)
- You must be able to fall asleep in any chair in the house with one or both of the boys on your lap or chest (recliners work best)
- You must be ready to watch SpongeBob Square Pants, Dora the Explorer and any of the new cartoons that kids love to watch today
- You must want to eat and share candy, popcorn, ice cream, cookies and cookie dough with the boys, even at 7am in the morning, despite what their mother says (this may have to wait a few months)
- You must be willing to stop at a McDonalds, Wendys or Burger King and get 3 Kids Meals at a moments notice. Yes – you get a Kids Toy too (again, a few months from now.)
- You must be acceptable of going to work, church, board meeting or Rotary with a little baby exhaust on your suit coat
- You must be able to smile like a crazy man any time someone asks you “What’s going on?” Because now you get to say, “I’m a Grandfather!”