New Internet Jokes

I stole these jokes from a www.myce.com a website about technology and gadgets.

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis..
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before..
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Every calendar’s days are numbered..
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give away.)
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

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