It’s my bed, and I will do as I like – do you hear me?!
If I wish to bring a fried bologna sandwich to my bed at midnight, I will.
If I wish to bring popcorn and freshly fire-pit created s’mores to my bed, I will.
If I wish to set a George Foreman grill at my feet in our king sized bed, and cook a 1pm angus burger, I will.
If I want to bring a tin of sardines and crackers to my bed with a quart jar of sweet tea, I will.
If I wish to give a tip to the Papa Johns delivery guy as he delivers a large supreme pizza to my bed so that I can continue watching Love Story and sipping a cup of hot tea, then I will.
If I wish to serve beer and brats to my friends who join me in my bed as we watch the SuperBowl ads, then I will.
If I decide to hire a professional sponge bather to take care of me as I sit in my bed watching Murder She Wrote and eating tacos, then I will.
If I decide to serve bourbon and red velvet cake to our neighbors from my bed as I listen to Edith Piaf on ITunes, then I will.
If I decide to get a pedicure and waxing done in my bed as I eat twinkles and drink hot chocolate and watch Magnum PI, then by golly, I will.
Any questions? If so, stick ’em in a sock and shut up. Hear me?!