To all the Men who receive this – you are politely requested to forward this important message to your significant other immediately.
I feel obliged to share this message with everyone I know, especially those in some type of a relationship, be it marriage, dating or even shacking up with someone.
Today is February 14, 2008. In most of the country it is Valentine’s Day – the day where traditionally most men were required to show their affection for their wife and/or girl friend(s).
Effective earlier this week the powers that be (me) have created an entirely new ruling of this Hallmark day.
February 14 will still be referred to as Valentine’s day; however from now on this day is all about MEN!
Let’s be honest guys, this will be difficult for most of us to handle, mainly because most of us cannot handle change well. Time will help with this transition. As the great me we are, we will support each other thru this transition.
Similarly, there is no doubt in my mind that the women of the world will struggle accepting this as well, just as they struggle with anything that men require of them.
However, if we all work together on this change it can work and we will be happier.
The new requirements, (yes requirement is the correct word), is that the women of the world begin to honor, care for, cater to and most importantly abide by the word of their man more so on February 14th, than any other day of the year.
Please do not misunderstand this requirement, we will not tolerate , (and yes tolerate is the correct word), you minimizing the way you honor, cater to and care for your man every other day.
The requirement is that you simply “pick it up a Notch” on this particular day.
We know you can do it, put your mind to stepping up to the plate for your man with as much energy and determination as you have when you are stalking the new pair of shoes, or that new nail polish color.
You’re a women, you can do anything you set your mind to, especially if we support you with this new requirement.
Consider these simple acts during this day to show your man (or men) just how much you truly care for him:
· Help him get out of bed in the morning with a hot cup of coffee. No fu-fu creams or sugar – just pure Columbian coffee in a large man sized mug.
· Prepare a fabulous breakfast feast for him with all of great foods like scrapple, fried eggs, biscuits, bacon, sausage and orange juice, (no cream of wheat or oatmeal ladies)
· Warm up his car before he leaves for the work (where he will slave to provide for you and your family)
· With no regard for your job or what you think you must do during the day, go to him during his lunch hour and bring him a lunch feast fit for a king such as a foot long Jersey Mike’s Sub, Beast sized bag of Chips or French Fries, 44 ounce Soda of his liking and a hot chocolate chip cookie big enough to choke an elephant.
· When he returns home for the job, be in the drive way to help him clean out his car, carry his briefcase to the den, his coffee mug into the Kitchen and then scurry back to him with a huge hug of appreciation for all that he does. Escort him to his recliner and unfold his newspaper (that you should not have read yet) on his lap opening it to the section that he most likes to read first (business, comics, sports, obituaries)
· Do not disturb him while he reads his paper and you complete cooking his final meal of the day. This meal does not need to be extra elaborate, just the basics of a great steak, steak fries and possibly a dinner roll or freshly baked bread. Do not tarnish this meal with anything as unacceptable as a vegetable or worst yet – a salad. This is to be a Man’s meal, not mommy serving dinner to the kids. (Oh, yeah – if you have kids, it is important that they be fed after your man is done. He should not be disturbed with the whining of little children during this meal.)
· After dinner you should escort your man to his favorite chair, bring him either an ice cold beer or possibly another cup of hot coffee and then you should scurry back to the kitchen to clean up after yourself.
· There are lots of ways that you can end this required day of celebrating your man. The requirements are quite strict in regards to this day. Remember the requirement bluntly refers to catering to and caring for your man and abiding by his word. We are all grown adults here, figure out what this means for you and make it happen.
Again women – listen up carefully – as stated earlier, I know this will be difficult to accept; however I am quite sure that you will benefit from accepting this requirement and that you do not want to face the consequences of failing to comply.
Thank you for hearing me and, in anticipation of complete acceptance of this new requirement by all women – thank you for conforming so eagerly and politely.